medal projections

What happens when you search for Olympic sports

Yes, SportsMyriad will have medal projections in 2016, but we’re doing things a little differently. Note the “we.” Not “I.” I’m getting help.

As preparation for the projections, I did a few searches on every Summer Olympic sport today. It’s difficult. So many summer sports are also recreational, and it’s hard to find coverage of the ISATWHATEVER World Cup amid all the stuff geared toward the practitioner, not the fan. Other sports are far more popular outside the Olympics.

Here’s what you find for each sport:

Archery: “I killed a bear. Check out these photos.”

Badminton: China, China, China, hey, can we make England as good as China?

Basketball: 405 tips for your fantasy team.

Beach volleyball: Duhhhh … they don’t wear much. (FWIW, I will never understand the fascination with skimpy beach volleyball apparel. It’s not as if track and field athletes are wearing parkas and golf pants.)

Boxing: We hate Floyd Mayweather.

Canoe/kayak: 405 tips for whitewater.

Cycling, BMX: Buy our gnarly BMX gear.

Cycling, mountain bike: Buy our gnarly mountain bike gear.

Cycling, road: Buy this $7,278 piece of equipment that will make you go slightly faster.

Cycling, track: … you wanna do what? ….

Diving: My latest vacation photos from the Great Barrier Reef.

Equestrian: 405 tales from veterinary research.

Fencing: Take the stuff you get at Home Depot and build this!

Golf: (A) 405 tips for your short game or (B) will Tiger Woods ever regain his form?

Gymnastics, artistic: My 405-part series on the scoring system and how it affects the way we teach 5-year-olds.

Gymnastics, rhythmic: noun, a form of gymnastics emphasizing dancelike rhythmic routines …”

Gymnastics, trampoline: Please take our trampoline. Free to anyone who can take it.

Handball: “Oh, you mean team handball? No one who writes about it actually calls it by that name.”

Hockey: “Oh, you mean field hockey? No one who writes about it actually calls it by that name.”

Judo: 405 tips for improving … oh, wait, Ronda Rousey’s mom just tweeted …

Modern pentathlon: 404 not found

Rowing: Anything with the word “row” (Front Row, Back Row) or even “Rowe.”

Rugby: 405 reasons England will never be as good as Australia or New Zealand.

Sailing: 405 tips for sailing the Chesapeake.

Shooting: “From my cold, dead hands …”

Soccer: Will Mourinho replace Van Gaal? And why didn’t Carli Lloyd win goal of the year?

Swimming: 405 tips for improving your lap time

Synchronized swimming: … um … what?

Table tennis: Wanna buy our table?

Taekwondo: Your dojo is a joke, dude.

Tennis: (A) 405 tips for improving your backhand or (B) how ridiculously awesome is Serena?

Track and field: We really love this sport in Oregon.

Triathlon: 405 tips for improving your transition from swim to bike.

Volleyball: “VolleyBall Girl Asses.” I wish I was kidding.

Water polo: “Water-Polo Hunks.” Turnabout is fair play?

Weightlifting: 405 ways to pick things up and put them down.

Wrestling: “JOHN CENA! WHOOOOOO!!!”

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