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The Ultimate Fighter: Season 14, Episode 6: How to win friends and influence people

First up: A quick recap of last week’s controversial Akira-Neace fight, in which everyone in the world thinks Akira tapped besides Akira, Bisping and Herb Dean. And everyone in the world thinks Akira and Bisping acted like idiots, taunting Neace and Miller after getting a gift win, except Akira and Bisping.

We finally put a name to the face of the bald Miller assistant who has had the most issues with Bisping. He’s Ryan Parsons, and he confronts Bisping, telling him he now understands why the Englishman is the most hated man in the UFC. Bisping responds by saying how rich he is. If Bisping were on Wall Street, he’d be the guy mooning the Occupy movement with the word “SUCKERS” tattooed on his butt.

For good measure, Bisping is also incredulous in the confessional, giving the Bill Laimbeer “What’d I do?” routine. I’ve had good conversations with Bisping, and I never thought he was quite as bad as people thought. I’m starting to wonder, though, if he’s simply decided to burn down every last bit of fan support he ever had.

Miller reassures Neace that he doesn’t owe anyone an apology. And we move on.

Miller doesn’t understand why Steven Siler, his last draft pick, wants to fight Diego Brandao, Bisping’s first. Dana White is also a little surprised that he wants this fight, but I’d guess Dana is also a little impressed and will remember that willingness to step up. “(Diego) has this Brazilian mystique about him.” But Siler has great cardio. I should say here that I’m watching this while already knowing the results. The cardio isn’t going to matter.

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The ups and downs of promotion and relegation

Long the province of cranky conversations in the virtual soccer community, promotion and relegation leaped into the news in recent days with a couple of pieces of bad reporting:

1. An English executive of some kind, Richard Bevan, claimed that some overseas owners of Premier League clubs want to scrap promotion and relegation. American-owned Aston Villa responded: “Put up or shut up.” Neither happened. Liverpool’s John Henry has now weighed in with his own denial.

Let me back up with a disclaimer: My love/hate relationship with Britain (probably 80% love) can be summed up like this – Britain invented many things I love in the arts, sports, sciences and intellectual thought. That includes Monty Python, the Beatles, the Comedy Store Players, soccer, antibiotics, economic theory and (eventually) the notion that a capitalist country should find a way to take care of its least fortunate.

But don’t let anyone tell you it’s not provincial, especially in sports. They’re miffed that the rest of the world doesn’t play the same sports they do. Some people even prefer the “awkwardness” of the UK version of The Office to the full-fledged character development and creative situations of the American version. They’ve spent decades thinking there’s something wrong with the way South Americans play soccer. They STILL think the 1930 U.S. World Cup semifinalists were all Brits, no matter how many times Roger Allaway and company smash that myth into pieces.

So we shouldn’t be surprised when the bad old Americans are seen as overlords who want to turn the Premier League into the NFL. They really should be more worried about people who want to form a pan-European NFL of their own.

2. Meanwhile, in Korea, the soccer powers that be want to start promoting and relegating. Here’s the problem: They tried that just a few years ago, and the lower-division teams didn’t want to move up.

That’s not unusual. In the USA, teams have often preferred to move down or stay down. The USL’s sprawling three-tier system of 15 years ago is now a scaled-back third-division pro league with scores of teams opting instead for fourth-division amateur status. Some clubs, like the well-rooted D3 Richmond Kickers, have no desire to bounce back up to a division that would require cross-country travel every other week. (Yes, I’ve asked.)

Teams also aren’t that likely to see a giant leap in revenue with each step up the pyramid. Consider other U.S. sports. I saw Greensboro’s minor-league hockey team move from the brutish ECHL to the flashy AHL, a big step up the ladder that brought much more talented players to the Coliseum. Attendance dropped.

***

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Single-Digit Soccer: When do you split the kids?

In the single-digit years, kids have two reasons for playing soccer:

1. Getting good at it, competing and challenging themselves.

2. Being on a team with their buddies.

Some kids play for both reasons; some for just one. But at some point, they have to be split up. The kids who are playing for recreation keep playing recreationally, perhaps making a breakthrough in aptitude and interest at a later age. The other kids are herded into national training camps at age 7 to practice eight hours a day, living on a special regimen of protein-boosted smoothies … oh, no, I guess we’re not to that point. Yet.

What we actually do is this: We take the top players in each age group into “travel” soccer. In my area, that starts at U9.

But it’s creeping downward. Back in the first installment of this series, I mentioned a program that took U8 players into an Academy program in which they would practice more and play less. Here’s another club’s program: When a lot of rising U9s (and U8s looking to play up) turned out for travel tryouts, they created a program straddling the House and Travel programs. This middle “Club Academy” tier is like House league except that teams practice twice a week, and Travel players make guest appearances in their games.

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The Ultimate Fighter: Season 14, Episode 5: Bisping’s bad, he’s bad, you know it

Really not a fan of the mouthpiece shots in the opening credits. Arlovski has creative. These guys? No.

Mayhem calls in his team for a quick huddle after Dustin Pague’s win over Louis Greenhairnot. Dustin asks if they can yell “Glory to God!” Mayhem is not one for religion, but he grants the wish with no fuss.

For some reason in this rapidly paced opening segment, Diego Brandao (Bisping’s top pick) yells at Steven Siler (Mayhem’s last). “You think I’m here to kiss or what?” Bisping calms down Diego after he punches a wall, warning him that he’ll break his hand. Diego recognizes the sound advice.

Mayhem drops by the house with a cowboy hat for Dustin Neace. It looks like Josh Ferguson’s. Josh: “I’ve got one thing going for me, and you’re trying to rip it off.”

But Mayhem had an ulterior motive. He pulls Siler into the pantry and mentions that he thinks there’s a mole on the team. They quickly figure out that it’s John Dodson. So Mayhem says he’s changing the matchups, but we’ll keep that on the DL. He decides to make Diego wait.

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Union opens up in fight against the UFC

If union group Unite HERE is trying to get sympathy in its long-standing dispute with the Fertitta brothers and their business, Station Casinos, they don’t seem to be succeeding. So they’ve ratcheted up the pressure.

They decided a while ago to go after the Fertittas’ other business, the UFC. They lobby against MMA regulation in New York, the lone major holdout in the United States. Their role was uncovered a while ago and went more public this year.

The latest step, among many: They’re going after UFC advertisers, beginning with Anheuser Busch. Fight Opinion has the letter. The issue they’ve chosen: “Anti-gay behavior in the Ultimate Fighting Championship.”

Some of us may see an irony in trying to get a beer company to take offense at less-than-enlightened views on sexuality, but Anheuser-Busch’s ads these days are at least a little less sexist than Miller’s.

MMA has had a few issues with gay-bashing rhetoric, sure. Quinton “Rampage” Jackson and Michael Bisping, both cited in the Unite HERE letter, haven’t gotten the message.

But Unite HERE also includes this clunker:

Remarkably, we have yet to find evidence that any of the UFC athletes identified in this letter have been disciplined by the UFC or its owners for this contemptible behavior.

They must not have looked very hard.

– Dana White apologized and was genuinely chagrined after the reaction from the gay community to his rant. The full story is here, and having spoken with White soon afterward, I can tell you he seemed sincere. (He still hasn’t apologized to Loretta Hunt, which is another issue.)

– White addressed Joe Rogan’s comments.

– Bisping is simply going to need more than one reminder.

None of which should suggest that the issue isn’t legit. A lot of people in the world — not just in MMA, but in society as a whole — haven’t gotten the message. And plenty of people in the MMA community are trying to get their colleagues to grow up. Here’s Michael David Smith. And Luke Thomas, who has been admirably speaking up for a while.

The attitudes won’t change overnight. And they won’t change if Anheuser-Busch suddenly decides to pull all its advertising from the UFC — which won’t happen, anyway. If the UFC completely collapsed and another MMA organization sprang up in its place, chances are pretty good that the transition would erase the progress made in fighting homophobia. White, at least, has gotten the message. He’s working on getting it to his fighters.

But speaking up for the gay community really isn’t Unite HERE’s goal. If the UFC collapsed tomorrow and a more homophobic group popped up instead, Unite HERE probably won’t be bothering its advertisers.

Unite HERE’s goal is to attack Station Casinos on multiple fronts. The union and the casino company have had a long, ugly fight.

So the questions are these:

1. Will Unite HERE’s attack on the UFC help its cause of putting pressure of Station Casinos?

2. Will Unite HERE’s attack on the UFC help the cause of stamping out homophobia in mixed martial arts?

3. If White, Rogan and UFC fighters manage to watch their language for a while, does that take the wind out of Unite HERE’s lobbying efforts?

On the first question, I plead ignorance. On the second, I have serious reservations, though the optimistic view would be that the UFC would make some public proclamation that would do some good.

But one side effect of the revved-up Unite HERE attack is that they’re more public now. Getting comment from the union in the past has always been difficult. (Trust me.) Now they’ve put a phone number and email address out in public view. I’m sending an email inviting a response to this post.

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The Ultimate Fighter: Season 14, Episode 4: You know the matchup, but can you stop it?

Who decided that a bantam was lighter than a feather? Never really understood that.

Next matchup: Stephen Bass (Bisping featherweight) vs. Dennis Bermudez (Miller). We learn this from Louis Gaudinot, who tells his coach Bisping, who heard it from (sigh) John Dodson. My man. The mole.

Stephen doesn’t want to do a third round in training. Bisping pushes him through it. This is what we in the media call “foreshadowing.”

Bisping doesn’t show for the fight announcement. Not the first time he has spaced out on a TUF commitment (see USA-UK season). Mayhem gets a fight dummy to stand in for him and does a pretty good voice impression. Bisping’s absence is never explained.

The fight announcement is … Bass vs. Bermudez. Shocker.

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The Ultimate Fighter: Season 14, Episode 3: Dodson the Mole?

Did Mayhem do something else to his hair? In any case, he brings in a bunch of swimming-pool noodles and says he’s going to teach people the first rule of the Octagon: Defend yourself at all times. He then whacks Dodson in the head with a noodle, starting a noodle fight.

Bisping gets revenge for the tire gag from last week. But he goes a bit farther, taking the tires from Miller’s car. Miller congratulates him but suggests he might want to focus a little less on the pranks and a little more on the fights.

Team Bisping does some vicious sparring. They say “60 percent.” But guys get mad. Akira says he wants to put fear in his teammates because it’s a competition. Meanwhile, Diego and Marcus go at it. Marcus says he doesn’t mind. Bisping, though, is pissed. At least, we think that’s what he said through the bleeps. Marcus says something about being from Alabama and speaking Ebonics and Redneck, while the other guy is from Brazil. Something about kidnapping. Do real camps deal with stuff like this?

Back in the house, Akira of the ever-present hat is the jokester. Slip and slide into the pool. Sitting on the pool table wearing a cup, asking housemates to shoot right at his jewels. Everyone else sleeps early, so Akira has time to put marshmallows and rice in everyone’s gloves. Dustin Neace apparently has three testicles, so Akira puts a pool ball with the number 8 in his glove. Oh, I’m sorry — that’s a 3.

We interrupt this moment of fun for a fight announcement. Mayhem picks Johnny Bedford from his team. Then,  “for your crime of calling Bryan Carraway a bitch,” Mayhem calls out Josh Ferguson. Josh anticipated the matchup and has “F–k you Bedford” scribbled on a piece of paper. The staredown turns into some serious smack talk.

“I felt like a guy in the middle of a country/western bar about to get stabbed,” Miller says.

Bedford’s right hand is a little injured from his prelim fight.

At the ad break, Miller Lite questions our masculinity.

Back from the break — Akira and TJ do the old water-bucket-over-the-door trick. We leave that hanging while Bisping trains Josh. The Josh backstory: He grew up in a family of seven, so he had to fight for everything. That’s all we hear before we jump back to Bisping’s tactics: Keep the fight within striking distance but not clinching distance.

Back to the house — the water bucket lands in front of the approaching fighters. Dud.

Dustin, though, doesn’t like the pranks. He takes a carton of food (rice? cereal?) and dumps it on Akira’s bed telling him not to mess with his stuff. So Akira confronts him, and we have a trash-talk scene so rapid-fire you’d think Aaron Sorkin wrote it.

Back at the house, we learn that my buddy from TUF tryouts, John Dodson, has a lot of friends on the other team. And that’s how Josh knew he was going to be selected to face Bedford. And then Josh learns about Bedford’s hand problem. Uh oh. Tattletales generally haven’t fared well on this show.

Ironically, Bedford corrects Dodson and Friends’ spelling of  “leprechaun,” someone’s nickname.

Meet the fighters … Bedford has a family and has been chasing the dream for 6-7 years. Ferguson has garden-variety confidence and wears his straw hat to the cage.

Looks like we’re going to start at 10:40 or so, which means this is likely not a short fight. The ad break has one of those awkward juxtapositions of Marines and TUF contestants talking about fighting.

Herb Dean is the ref, and Josh comes out firing. Bedford gets in for a clinch, exactly what Bisping didn’t want, and Josh’s attempt to wrap himself around Bedford doesn’t stop the takedown. Bedford grounds and pounds, then lets Josh back up. Josh again throws a decent combo in the standup. Bedford clinches again, takes Josh to the cage and lands some knees. Closeup shows blood on the bridge of Bedford’s nose. Again they stand, and Josh looks sharp again, but Bedford gets a Thai clinch, lands a knee and gets another takedown. This time, he’s in side control and would be well-advised to stay there. He shifts into more of a north-south and starts to work for an armlock. They’re right in front of Bisping, who yells a few instructions. Josh reverses, but Bedford stands. Josh goes for a guillotine, which is enough to slow Bedford for the moment. They break, and Josh has a nice welt under his left eye. Bedford dodges some punches and gets a bodylock to take Josh down. He gets position for a rear naked choke but not enough time. Round 1 to Bedford.

Round 2: Now Bedford’s winning the standup, countering effectively and then taking the initiative. He’s clearly the more experienced fighter, and he’s a good bit bigger. Clinch again, takedown again, and Josh has a look of “Aw geez, not again” on his face. Josh establishes guard, but Bedford passes to half. As Bedford moves to side control, Josh goes for a Hail Mary choke. Bedford escapes, pounds a bit more but lets Josh up. For a second or two. Then it’s a slam right back down, and Bedford’s in side control. He’s working Josh’s face with elbows while Herb Dean yells “Work!” Into the last minute we go, and it’s clear Josh has no answer for anything. Bedford, though, forgets about the big bonuses for the best knockout and submission on the show, and he’s content landing elbows until the fight ends.

Decision: Unanimous for Bedford. Bisping can’t believe Josh tried a flying knee, from which Bedford easily deposited him on the ground.

Mayhem says he notices a recurring theme on the show. Bisping says it’s just two fights.

soccer

Single-Digit Soccer: Position papers

My first exposure to youth sports was at the Athens (Ga.) YMCA. We played football in the fall (flag in first grade, tackle from second grade on), basketball in the winter, soccer in the early Georgia spring and a brief softball season.

In football, we learned positions right away. I still remember mine — end in one season, guard in another. And I remember the numbering system. The backs were numbered 1 (QB), 2 (left RB), 3 (middle RB), 4 (right RB). Then we numbered holes — even numbers on the right, starting with 2 (between center and right guard), 4 (guard and tackle), 6 (tackle and end), 8 (sweep). Odd numbers on the left. So if the coach called 23 in the huddle, the QB would hand off to the left running back, who would run between the left guard and left tackle. Everyone knew which way to block.

Reminder: We’re talking about second-graders here. And though we moved tentatively and sometimes dropped the ball, we could run all the plays. They even taught us a tricky blocking scheme in which we “pulled” the guard (me) out to block the defensive end. The offensive tackle and end shifted inside to block, leaving a confused defensive end wondering why no one was blocking him. He stood there until I ran into him at full speed. Oh, how the poor kid cried. Not sure we tried that again.

The staff at the Y were all former football players, and in that day, it’s fair to say they didn’t know much about soccer. My guess is they hadn’t gone through an F license workshop or read up on the latest U.S. Soccer training guidelines. So when they put us on the field for soccer, we all got positions. Left back, right mid, goalkeeper. Off you go.

I can’t remember whether the games devolved into “mob-ball” or “magnet-ball” as you see in single-digit soccer today. I mostly remember playing goalkeeper and blaming myself when an easy shot got by. As far as I remember, my defense held its shape pretty well — probably better than it did in the adult league game I played Friday night. (“Geez, why am I running back from right mid again?! Why is our right back drifting all over the place?! My leg hurts!”)

I mention all of this because, according to what we’re taught as single-digit soccer coaches, this is impossible. Kids can’t learn positions or tactics. Don’t worry about “magnet-ball.” It’s OK for now.

Yet we learned them at the Y. The English family on my team says they learned positions at age 5 and have had to adjust to mob-ball in the USA. What’s different about modern U.S. youth soccer?

I’ve read through the new U.S. Soccer curriculum again, and I can’t quite tell whether that mindset has changed. The curriculum says players are supposed to be able to “occupy the original position in a game once an action is finished,” which I’d guess means that we’re supposed to be assigning positions. But the “tactics” space is left blank in the U5-U8 plans.

My hunch is that if we really worked on positions, we’d get them to work. But we get one hour a week of divided attention in which to teach them, and we’re supposed to be working on dribbling drills (without calling them drills) and maybe passing and shooting games.

The Y was different. We were there for two practices a week. And the same coaches who taught us to be a right tackle were there to teach us to be a center midfielder. We got the message. Perhaps with some disciplinary measures that modern parents and psychologists would frown on.

This season, I’ve tried to get my team to spread out at the very least. I took a cartoon approach. I’m telling them we don’t want this:

Let’s have two people back, but not like this:

(The two defenders are sitting back and waving at their teammates at the other end of the field, who are outnumbered 5-to-3.)

The ideal is this:

I’ve certainly seen coaches try to instill positional sense at U6 and U7. Some of them are just good-hearted and trying to do their best. Maybe they got through at some level, though it never showed in the games.

Then there’s the guy I’ve mentioned before who would stop games to tell his team how they could’ve done better on that last goal from a tactical perspective. He’s the same guy who made occasional snide comments at other coaches about their sideline instructions, and he scheduled his team for the first game each Saturday but never assigned himself to set up. While the opposing coach grunted with the portable goals, his team was running actual drills, having been driven to the game 20 minutes early by a gaggle of frightened parents. Then he would get mad at us because our players were running late. (See, parents? See what happens to your poor coach when you don’t show up on time?)

Results don’t matter at this age, but running over that team felt pretty good.