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The Ultimate Fighter: Season 14, Episode 6: How to win friends and influence people

First up: A quick recap of last week’s controversial Akira-Neace fight, in which everyone in the world thinks Akira tapped besides Akira, Bisping and Herb Dean. And everyone in the world thinks Akira and Bisping acted like idiots, taunting Neace and Miller after getting a gift win, except Akira and Bisping.

We finally put a name to the face of the bald Miller assistant who has had the most issues with Bisping. He’s Ryan Parsons, and he confronts Bisping, telling him he now understands why the Englishman is the most hated man in the UFC. Bisping responds by saying how rich he is. If Bisping were on Wall Street, he’d be the guy mooning the Occupy movement with the word “SUCKERS” tattooed on his butt.

For good measure, Bisping is also incredulous in the confessional, giving the Bill Laimbeer “What’d I do?” routine. I’ve had good conversations with Bisping, and I never thought he was quite as bad as people thought. I’m starting to wonder, though, if he’s simply decided to burn down every last bit of fan support he ever had.

Miller reassures Neace that he doesn’t owe anyone an apology. And we move on.

Miller doesn’t understand why Steven Siler, his last draft pick, wants to fight Diego Brandao, Bisping’s first. Dana White is also a little surprised that he wants this fight, but I’d guess Dana is also a little impressed and will remember that willingness to step up. “(Diego) has this Brazilian mystique about him.” But Siler has great cardio. I should say here that I’m watching this while already knowing the results. The cardio isn’t going to matter.

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The Ultimate Fighter: Season 14, Episode 5: Bisping’s bad, he’s bad, you know it

Really not a fan of the mouthpiece shots in the opening credits. Arlovski has creative. These guys? No.

Mayhem calls in his team for a quick huddle after Dustin Pague’s win over Louis Greenhairnot. Dustin asks if they can yell “Glory to God!” Mayhem is not one for religion, but he grants the wish with no fuss.

For some reason in this rapidly paced opening segment, Diego Brandao (Bisping’s top pick) yells at Steven Siler (Mayhem’s last). “You think I’m here to kiss or what?” Bisping calms down Diego after he punches a wall, warning him that he’ll break his hand. Diego recognizes the sound advice.

Mayhem drops by the house with a cowboy hat for Dustin Neace. It looks like Josh Ferguson’s. Josh: “I’ve got one thing going for me, and you’re trying to rip it off.”

But Mayhem had an ulterior motive. He pulls Siler into the pantry and mentions that he thinks there’s a mole on the team. They quickly figure out that it’s John Dodson. So Mayhem says he’s changing the matchups, but we’ll keep that on the DL. He decides to make Diego wait.

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The Ultimate Fighter: Season 14, Episode 4: You know the matchup, but can you stop it?

Who decided that a bantam was lighter than a feather? Never really understood that.

Next matchup: Stephen Bass (Bisping featherweight) vs. Dennis Bermudez (Miller). We learn this from Louis Gaudinot, who tells his coach Bisping, who heard it from (sigh) John Dodson. My man. The mole.

Stephen doesn’t want to do a third round in training. Bisping pushes him through it. This is what we in the media call “foreshadowing.”

Bisping doesn’t show for the fight announcement. Not the first time he has spaced out on a TUF commitment (see USA-UK season). Mayhem gets a fight dummy to stand in for him and does a pretty good voice impression. Bisping’s absence is never explained.

The fight announcement is … Bass vs. Bermudez. Shocker.

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The Ultimate Fighter: Season 14, Episode 3: Dodson the Mole?

Did Mayhem do something else to his hair? In any case, he brings in a bunch of swimming-pool noodles and says he’s going to teach people the first rule of the Octagon: Defend yourself at all times. He then whacks Dodson in the head with a noodle, starting a noodle fight.

Bisping gets revenge for the tire gag from last week. But he goes a bit farther, taking the tires from Miller’s car. Miller congratulates him but suggests he might want to focus a little less on the pranks and a little more on the fights.

Team Bisping does some vicious sparring. They say “60 percent.” But guys get mad. Akira says he wants to put fear in his teammates because it’s a competition. Meanwhile, Diego and Marcus go at it. Marcus says he doesn’t mind. Bisping, though, is pissed. At least, we think that’s what he said through the bleeps. Marcus says something about being from Alabama and speaking Ebonics and Redneck, while the other guy is from Brazil. Something about kidnapping. Do real camps deal with stuff like this?

Back in the house, Akira of the ever-present hat is the jokester. Slip and slide into the pool. Sitting on the pool table wearing a cup, asking housemates to shoot right at his jewels. Everyone else sleeps early, so Akira has time to put marshmallows and rice in everyone’s gloves. Dustin Neace apparently has three testicles, so Akira puts a pool ball with the number 8 in his glove. Oh, I’m sorry — that’s a 3.

We interrupt this moment of fun for a fight announcement. Mayhem picks Johnny Bedford from his team. Then,  “for your crime of calling Bryan Carraway a bitch,” Mayhem calls out Josh Ferguson. Josh anticipated the matchup and has “F–k you Bedford” scribbled on a piece of paper. The staredown turns into some serious smack talk.

“I felt like a guy in the middle of a country/western bar about to get stabbed,” Miller says.

Bedford’s right hand is a little injured from his prelim fight.

At the ad break, Miller Lite questions our masculinity.

Back from the break — Akira and TJ do the old water-bucket-over-the-door trick. We leave that hanging while Bisping trains Josh. The Josh backstory: He grew up in a family of seven, so he had to fight for everything. That’s all we hear before we jump back to Bisping’s tactics: Keep the fight within striking distance but not clinching distance.

Back to the house — the water bucket lands in front of the approaching fighters. Dud.

Dustin, though, doesn’t like the pranks. He takes a carton of food (rice? cereal?) and dumps it on Akira’s bed telling him not to mess with his stuff. So Akira confronts him, and we have a trash-talk scene so rapid-fire you’d think Aaron Sorkin wrote it.

Back at the house, we learn that my buddy from TUF tryouts, John Dodson, has a lot of friends on the other team. And that’s how Josh knew he was going to be selected to face Bedford. And then Josh learns about Bedford’s hand problem. Uh oh. Tattletales generally haven’t fared well on this show.

Ironically, Bedford corrects Dodson and Friends’ spelling of  “leprechaun,” someone’s nickname.

Meet the fighters … Bedford has a family and has been chasing the dream for 6-7 years. Ferguson has garden-variety confidence and wears his straw hat to the cage.

Looks like we’re going to start at 10:40 or so, which means this is likely not a short fight. The ad break has one of those awkward juxtapositions of Marines and TUF contestants talking about fighting.

Herb Dean is the ref, and Josh comes out firing. Bedford gets in for a clinch, exactly what Bisping didn’t want, and Josh’s attempt to wrap himself around Bedford doesn’t stop the takedown. Bedford grounds and pounds, then lets Josh back up. Josh again throws a decent combo in the standup. Bedford clinches again, takes Josh to the cage and lands some knees. Closeup shows blood on the bridge of Bedford’s nose. Again they stand, and Josh looks sharp again, but Bedford gets a Thai clinch, lands a knee and gets another takedown. This time, he’s in side control and would be well-advised to stay there. He shifts into more of a north-south and starts to work for an armlock. They’re right in front of Bisping, who yells a few instructions. Josh reverses, but Bedford stands. Josh goes for a guillotine, which is enough to slow Bedford for the moment. They break, and Josh has a nice welt under his left eye. Bedford dodges some punches and gets a bodylock to take Josh down. He gets position for a rear naked choke but not enough time. Round 1 to Bedford.

Round 2: Now Bedford’s winning the standup, countering effectively and then taking the initiative. He’s clearly the more experienced fighter, and he’s a good bit bigger. Clinch again, takedown again, and Josh has a look of “Aw geez, not again” on his face. Josh establishes guard, but Bedford passes to half. As Bedford moves to side control, Josh goes for a Hail Mary choke. Bedford escapes, pounds a bit more but lets Josh up. For a second or two. Then it’s a slam right back down, and Bedford’s in side control. He’s working Josh’s face with elbows while Herb Dean yells “Work!” Into the last minute we go, and it’s clear Josh has no answer for anything. Bedford, though, forgets about the big bonuses for the best knockout and submission on the show, and he’s content landing elbows until the fight ends.

Decision: Unanimous for Bedford. Bisping can’t believe Josh tried a flying knee, from which Bedford easily deposited him on the ground.

Mayhem says he notices a recurring theme on the show. Bisping says it’s just two fights.

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The Ultimate Fighter: Season 14, Episode 2

Slight change in the opening credits from season past — it’s almost all fight footage. Very little from the gym. It’s as if they’re sending a message that the fights this season are going to be as impressive as we saw last week.

Rare bit of trivia: The house is 15,000 square feet.

“We ate and ate and ate and ate,” they say of their early time in the house. John Dodson is manning the grill.

Draft day — we see Miller’s rankings. Dodson (bantamweight) and Diego Brandao (featherweight) are No. 1.

The coin toss goes awry when “we have a roller,” in Dana White’s words. Bisping wins and opts to take the first pick rather than first fight. That suits Mayhem, who’d rather have the first fight.

In a change from years past, they draft each weight class separately. Bantamweights first:

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The Ultimate Fighter: Season 14, Episode 1

I’m optimistic about this season. It might be because they’re bringing bantamweights and featherweights into the mix, two weight classes that haven’t already been scraped of their top talent by several seasons of this show and years of UFC scouting. It might be because Michael Bisping and Jason “Mayhem” Miller have compelling personalities — neither one a true villain but both willing to mix it up verbally. It might be because I’ve outgrown my youthful cynicism.

I also saw the tryouts, and I’m worried about one thing. The most best personality there was John Dodson, a strong flyweight fighter I’ve seen in action before. But we’ve been told that there were some surprises in the preliminary fights (seriously, Dana — have the “wild card” after the prelims, not after the first round), and I didn’t see Dodson in a long preview for the show. The second best personality there was a guy nicknamed “Haggis Basher,” and he didn’t even make the final 32.

Can’t have everything, I suppose. As Steven Wright said, where would you put it?

Off we go …

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The Ultimate Fighter: Season 13, Episode 10: The finalists are …

After a slow start to the season, everything has perked up in the last couple of weeks. We’ve seen some decent fights, some brazen efforts to grab reality-show infamy, some heartwarming kindness and some drunken idiocy. Tonight, we have a pair of semifinals, each compelling in its own right. And I get to find out who’ll need to put up with my stupid interview questions this weekend.

Credits roll — hey, does anyone remember seeing Mick Bowman or Justin Edwards say anything over the course of the season? Justin was unlucky to miss out on a wild-card spot due to injury, but he has been awfully quiet since then. Nordin Asrih was silent for several weeks until he gave Chris Cope some mildly enthusiastic advice on fighting Shamar Bailey.

We start by seeing much more of the house than we have in the rest of the season. Tony, who alienated the rest of the house with his inebriated comments about Charlie’s custody battle, asks where Charlie is. Chuck doesn’t seem to answer.

But we cut quickly to the weigh-in between two of the funnier guys of the season, Chris Cope and “Stripper” Ramsey Nijem. They exchange “Whoo!”s and laugh.

Back quickly to the house, where Tony tries to apologize. Chuck isn’t buying it. He tells him he crossed the line by bringing Charlie’s kid into things, and Charlie showed a lot of character by not punching him in the face when the rest of the team wanted to pound him. Tony tries again. Blank stares.

Awkward cut back to the gym for the first semifinal. Chris is the big surprise, upsetting Javier Torres and Shamar Bailey to get here. Ramsey is an awesome wrestler and Team Dos Santos’ last hope.

Round 1: Chris is on the same path he trod to beat Shamar — defend the takedown and land short punches while his opponent leans on him. But Ramsey is showing more adaptability than Shamar, and he lands a lot of solid punches and a couple of good knees. Chris gets a mark or two on his face. 10-9 Ramsey.

Round 2: Finally, an actual takedown, but Ramsey can’t hold it. He does give Chris a good body kick as he slips away. I swear I actualy saw blood fly from Chris’ face on one punch, just before they smile at each other for the 100th time. Then Ramsey finds another way to get Chris down — he overwhelms him with punches. Chris staggers against, the cage, then falls. Ramsey keeps throwing punches, but Steve Mazzagatti quickly and correctly stops it. Team Dos Santos will have a fighter in the final.

FINALIST: Ramsey Nijem by second-round TKO

Not even an ad break before the next weigh-in. Just judging by the clock, we may be looking at a three-rounder in the second semifinal. After the events of last week, it’s hard to imagine anyone other than Tony Ferguson’s immediate family rooting for him, but he has been one of the most impressive fighters on the show.

Herb Dean starts our second fight at 9:32 p.m., leaving us plenty of time for three rounds and a wrapup.

Round 1: Chuck lands the first punches in a tepid opening. But Tony looks better boxing — his chin is tucked and his head is moving, while Chuck’s chin is just sitting there. Chuck catches Tony low, and despite the events in the house, they do the sportsmanlike thing and tap gloves. Tony feints a takedown, waits a few seconds, then snaps Chuck’s head back with a straight punch. Chuck’s nose is getting redder, and Tony’s getting more comfortable. Near the one-minute mark, Tony catches a Chuck kick and sends Chuck to the mat, but he backs away to keep the fight standing. Tony finishes the round with a good right cross and a left hook. 10-9 Tony

Round 2: Again, Chuck strikes first, Tony strikes more cleanly and crisper. Tony starts doing an Ali shuffle for some reason. Chuck needs to find someplace to be other than directly in front of Tony, who again snaps Chuck’s head with a clean punch. Tony spends the rest of the round turning Chuck’s face into a bloody Forrest Griffin-esque mess. 10-9 Tony

Round 3: Tony lands several good shots to the head. Then the body. Then the leg. This is really worse than a 1-minute knockout or submission. With 1:50 left, Chuck tumbles, and Herb Dean has seen enough.

FINALIST: Tony Ferguson by third-round TKO

Quick postscript: We see Dana getting the call from Brock Lesnar. The diverticulitis is back with a vengeance, and Brock can’t fight Junior. Enter Shane Carwin.

Any other cast members on the TUF13 finale card? They don’t announce anything. Press release likely coming in 5, 4, 3, 2 …

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The Ultimate Fighter: Season 13, Episode 9: Shocking end

We start fast, with Zach telling us he may keep things standing against Chuck since he took him down last time. In other words, he wants to do the opposite of what he did when he beat him.

Chuck says he’s giving half of his win bonus to Charlie because Charlie has been going through a rough child support situation. Charlie says he can’t take it.

Quick look at training: Brock tells Chuck to use his head to pin Zach’s head against the cage.

Then we’re already at the walkout for the fight, though Zach puts a couple of holes in the perennially flimsy UFC Training Center doors on his way to the cage.

Returning from the ad break, we get a few more reminders that Chuck’s nickname is “Cold Steel.” He also has more experience than Zach.

Round 1: Zach immediately lands a sharp jab and fares pretty well in the stand-up. Chuck lands a good leg kick. Zach takes him to the cage to land some solid knees, and Chuck is showing little capacity to get out. Ref Steve Mazzagatti gets bored nearly halfway through the round and returns them to the center, where we see a cut under Zach’s left eye. They trade again, and Chuck lands a good variety of strikes. One punch staggers Zach, who comes back with a takedown attempt and again puts Chuck against the cage. His position isn’t as good this time, and Chuck lands a lot of hammerfists. They break, and Chuck lands a powerful combo that sends Zach reeling. And another. The last 20 seconds is a barrage from Chuck. The only bad news for Brock’s fighter is that he seems tired when he gets back to the corner. 10-9 Chuck

Between rounds, Brock tells Chuck that Zach’s tired. Junior, perhaps for the first time all season, sounds mad at someone other than Lew Polley and the judges, telling Zach he HAS to take Chuck down.

Round 2: Well, Zach gets down, but it’s the result of a leg kick that his him awkwardly. Chuck gets on top for a few seconds but lets him up. Chuck again staggers Zach, but Junior’s fighter responds with a near-takedown. Chuck manages to pick his way out, and we repeat — Chuck 1-2, Zach takedown attempt, Zach pressing Chuck to the cage. Chuck reverses momentarily but can’t keep Zach against the cage. That’s all Zach can manage, though — he’s the living picture of a tired fighter leaning on his opponent. They slow-dance a bit more, and Mazzagatti has again seen enough. They go back to the center, where Zach will need a miracle in the last 90 seconds. He lands one nice punch up the middle, but Chuck bides his time and then responds. Then another Chuck combo with 20 seconds left. Zach shoots, and Chuck immediately scrambles away. Horn sounds, and Zach immediately hangs his head.

They don’t even go to the pretense of pretending we might have a third round. They go straight to the fight recap, and it’s all Chuck.

And yes, it’s 20-18 across the board for Chuck O’Neil, who put on a performance that will earn him a couple of UFC paydays. The former alternate and wild card is now a semifinalist.

Doctor checks out Chuck. “Headache?” “No.  A little horny, though.”

“Cold Steel,” yes, but the wit is still there.

Immediately to the second fight, and Brock is a little concerned that Tony gets too fancy when he has a dominant position.

But after the break, we get a quick look in the house with a lot of Miller Lite placement. Chuck pays tribute to Zach’s toughness.

Then the bad news — Zach tore BOTH retinas. He had immediate surgery, and the doctors say he can’t fight any more. Chuck hears the news and gives Zach a sympathetic hug.

Two words for Zach: Second opinion.

Junior and Ryan posit him as the underdog. That’s a little strange for Junior’s second pick and the guy who took out Brock’s top pick, Len Bentley.

Ryan also tears up talking about his daughter, to whom he has been writing letters in the hopes that she’ll read them later and know how much he was thinking of her during this six-week experience.

Round 1 … oh, it’s over. Tony lands an uppercut that staggers Ryan and finishes up.

Junior consoles Ryan and tells him never to give up. Then he asks everyone to put all their positive energy toward Ramsey.

Yes, Ramsey is the only Dos Santos fighter remaining in the competition. Call it the curse of Lew Polley. Anyone who thought Brock was embarrassing himself should be thinking again.

Dana says the coaches think Ramsey and Tony are the best fighters here. Dana doesn’t necessarily disagree, but he’s impressed with Chuck and says Chris just keeps beating the odds.

Matchups: Ramsey vs. Chris Cope, Tony vs. Chuck.

So that’s a wrap, and … oh, wait. We haven’t had the drunken brawl we were promised in the previews.

Ramsey strips on the pool table and is doused with various beverages. Everyone’s having fun.

Until … Charlie pours a drink in Tony’s hair. Tony charges him, falling over a sofa and into a coffee table that luckily doesn’t shatter. We hear people yelling to restrain Tony as we go to commercial. Are we going to see a Jesse Taylor-style removal from the house? We’ll find out after Schick razors take a page from the Axe “use this product and have sex” advertising book.

Charlie tries to calm Tony down. Tony isn’t responding. Then the talk starts. Tony brings up Charlie’s kid, possibly the worst below-the-belt argument since Bobby Southworth yelled “fatherless bastard” at Chris Leben in Season 1. Tony keeps yelling, “Hit me and see your kid!”

The rest of the house is shocked. Shamar says he lost a lot of respect for Tony.

Tony comes back in the house and keeps talking about Charlie’s son. Charlie has to be held back, but Clay looks ready to take on Tony himself.

Chuck was initially reluctant to fight his teammate. Not any more. Chuck says he’s ready to “take away Tony’s dreams.” And the rest of the house is surely pulling for him.

You wanted drama this season? You’ve got it. And Tony has some explaining to do.

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The Ultimate Fighter: Season 13, Episode 8: Not how you shut someone up

Missing TUF in its regular time slot is one thing. Forgetting to record it is another. The site doesn’t upload the full episode for a few days, and then you’re stuck watching that Miller Lite ad with the drill sergeant training female lifeguards to save men from making poor beer-drinking decisions. No time to ponder the many ironies of all that — we’ve got two fights this week, and though I know the results, I’m looking forward to seeing them.

Shamar Bailey hurt his back in training. He’s whispering because Chris Cope, who has already been accused of spying on the whole house, is lurking as always.

Team Dos Santos practice finds Ramsey Nijem piling on the weight-cutting gear while he works out with Junior, who reiterates praise of Ramsey’s wrestling prowess.

We get a little bit of Ramsey’s backstory. “Being Palestianian helps me be the fighter I am.”

Brian Stann stops by to chat at the request of the U.S. Marine Corps. He gives what seems like a recruiting speech, either for the Marines or the UFC. Brock Lesnar jokes that Stann should’ve brough a few applications to get some of these guys to join the USMC.

Clay Harvison, who knows Brian out in the real world, has to prepare for Ramsey. Brock, opening up quite a bit as a coach, gives Ramsey a tip based on something Shane Carwin used against him.

Miller Lite ad. Yes, I’m so afraid of making an “unmanly” choice. I’m 41 with two kids. That’s my first priority. (To be fair, it’s not their fault I’m out of the demographic.)

The Ramsey-Clay weigh-in is spiced up by Ramsey’s thong. Dana reminds us that Clay’s finger was grotesquely dislocated.
Ramsey gets a little nauseous before the fight. That could be an advantage. Would you hesitate a little if you knew someone might vomit on you?

Tale of the tape: Clay is 30. Ramsey is 22. Steve Mazzagatti is the ref.

Round 1: Ramsey throws awkwardly. Clay throws wildly, giving Ramsey the easy opening for a takedown. He hops on Clay’s back, sinks in hooks, hits him a couple of times, locks in the rear naked choke and gets the tap before the one-minute mark. Not sure Ramsey’s even sweating.

“That’s how you fight when you get sick?!” Junior asks.

Dana reassures Clay that he’s impressed with the guy’s toughness. Brock also accentuates the positive. Clay is ticked at himself for falling into something so quickly.

Different Miller Lite ad makes fun of those of us who like emo bands.

On to the second fight and the rather contrived conflict between Shamar and Chris. Brock smiles as he tells Chris just to weather the first 30 seconds. It’s another wrestler vs. striker matchup — or, as Brock puts it, “wrestler vs. … Chris.”

Brock works with Chris and points to the logo at the center of the cage. “Own Burger King,” Brock says. Shamar was Dos Santos’ first pick. Chris was picked a little later. Shamar is ripped. Chris is … Chris. Shamar glares. Chris smiles.

Dana points out the upset potential — Shamar looked one-dimensional in his first fight. That’s especially true if “boring” is a dimension.
Chris picks the brain of Nordin, who lost that borefest and gets some rare screen time. They end up arguing about Chris’ approach.
The main Miller Lite ad returns, after the Hugh Hefner Stoli ad. Am I supposed to be wasted by this point?

Round 1: As expected, Shamar spends about 90 seconds working on a takedown against the cage, but Chris defends well. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. And Chris lands punches in quantity, if not quality, each time he’s tied up. 10-9 for Chris.

Another Stoli ad, this one with Julia Stiles. Pretty cool, actually.

Round 2: Chris concedes the Burger King logo too easily, which surely annoys Brock. But he outpunches Shamar to keep him at bay for about 80 seconds. Then we’re back to the cage, where Chris defends the takedown again. Back to the center, where Chris is again outboxing Shamar, and Shamar finally charges to push him to the cage. Still can’t get the takedown. That’s 0-for-7, approaching the success rate of apocalyptic prophets. Shamar lands a couple of punches but doesn’t even follow up with a takedown attempt. More boxing and another Shamar charge, with Chris reverses and presses Shamar to the cage. Shamar reverses, but Chris again fights his way out. 30 seconds left, and Shamar goes for takedown attempt #9, taking a whole bunch of punches to his ear. Chris reverses and gets back to the center as the round ends.

Dos Santos tells Shamar “your fight, your fight.” Not sure what he was watching.

Dana sums it up well: Shamar couldn’t do anything. But Chris wouldn’t let his hands go. Brock says Chris was in defensive mode but landing defensive punches.

All three judges score it 20-18 for Chris. “What?!” yells Dos Santos. “I don’t know about that,” says Shamar.

Shamar says he wanted to come out and put on a show for Dana, not just wrestle. He tells Dana he wants to show he could bang rather than trying to take the easy way out and taking him down. Dana: “Looks like you TRIED to take him down a bunch of times.” Shamar then plays the injured-back card.

Great fight? No. Just an amusing look at how to beat a one-dimensional fighter and some reassurance that you can’t win a fight by simply pressing someone against a cage.

Next week, Tony Ferguson apparently goes ballistic in the house, but they tell us he will indeed fight Ryan McGillivray in what should be one of the best fights of the season. We’ll get both quarterfinals, then the semifinal announcements. Yes, this season is going fast.

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The Ultimate Fighter: Season 13, Episode 7: Close shave

(Incidentally, apologies for lack of recent posts — been “on assignment,” as it were. In a related note, next week’s recap will be one day late.)

A quick reminder: Javier Torres and Chuck O’Neil are in the wild card, and Len Bentley is not happy.

Len chases Dana White, eager to get a rematch with Ryan McGillivray after their close decision. Dana says Len should’ve showed that spirit when they were talking to guys about the wild card, saying if he had, they wouldn’t be having this conversation. Len is rather perplexed, wondering what else he could’ve/should’ve said.

And so, let’s present this Memo To Future TUF Contenders: When asked if you want to take a fight, respond with this: “BLEEP YEAH! I’LL FIGHT RIGHT NOW! I’LL FIGHT BROCK LESNAR, GSP AND ANDERSON SILVA SIMULTANEOUSLY JUST SO I CAN GET IN THE CAGE AGAIN! I’LL CUT FROM 230 TO BANTAMWEIGHT IN THREE HOURS! PLEASE, PLEASE, DANA, JUST GIVE ME ONE MORE BLEEPING SHOT IN THE BLEEPING CAGE!!!!!”

Back in the house, we get the Len complaint montage, complete with scenes from the outdoor hot tub and the kitchen. Charlie Rader: “Len’s being a little dramatic about the situation.”

Ryan tells Len that Junior said Brock said Brock was worried about Len’s knee. In elementary school, that’s called “telephone” or “gossip.”

Someone else calls Len a ginger. His hair seems rather black to me, and I have high-def.

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