Month: July 2013

soccer

20 alternatives to YSA

Posted on by Beau Dure

Dear MLS Supporters Group,

angryYou may be a little upset that your club is getting more aggressive in its efforts to keep you from chanting “YOU SUCK, ASSHOLE!” every time the opposing keeper takes a goal kick. The argument has been going on for years, but commissioner Don Garber ratcheted up the rhetoric over the last few months, and now the Red Bulls are offering to pay fans not to say it.

What started as a rather stupid drunken chant has evolved into an act of civil disobedience. “Garber can’t tell us what to do,” you might say. “We’re fans. He’s just worried because he negotiating the league’s next TV deals so the league doesn’t find itself without tens of millions of rights … oh … wait a minute …”

Yeah, you can raise any argument you like — the vulgarity, the lack of creativity, the anger from broadcast partners, etc. The bottom line is simple: YSA has got to go.

The good news: The English language offers many other four-syllable phrases. Not that you have to limit it to four — New England Revolution fans have told me they used “RELEASE THE KRAKEN” on occasion.

You may not be able to match the precise meter, with the emphasis on the second syllable and the last two as throwaways. In any case, it’s probably best to do a complete break instead of replacing it with a similar phrase like “YOU STINK, DUMBASS!”

But even if you limit yourself to four syllables, you’ll find no shortage of cheers to harass an opposing goalkeeper. You may even be able to tailor your cheers to specific occasions.

Here are some suggestions:

1. For all purposes, a shoutout to one of MLS’s best: “Ahhhhhh … YOU’RE NO HARTMAN!”

2. If the keeper has dreadlocks: “Ahhhhhh … YOU’RE NO COBI!”

3. When a keeper has a Jorge Campos-style shirt: “Ahhhhhh … PSYCHEDELIC!”

4. When you’re in a George Clinton mood: “Ahhhhhh … FUNKADELIC!”

5/6. If you want to distract the keeper with potential issues elsewhere: “Ahhhhhh … YOUR DOG HAS FLEAS!” or “Ahhhhhh … YOUR CAR’S ON FIRE!”

7. If you think the keeper’s taking too much time, or if you just want to pay tribute to a great Bull Durham scene: “Ahhhhhh … LOLLYGAGGER!”

8. If you want to make a political statement and think the trainers aren’t adequately responding to injuries: “Ahhhhhh … SINGLE-PAYER!”

9. If you want to pay tribute to the Seinfeld episode in which Mr. Costanza is looking for a calming phrase: “Ahhhhhh …HOOCHIE MAMA!”

10. Shakespeare shoutout: “Ahhhhhh … I BITE MY THUMB!”

11. If the keeper has ridiculous body art: “Ahhhhhh … NICE TATS, MORON!”

12. Keeper with obvious cosmetic surgery: “Ahhhhhh … YOUR NOSE IS FAKE!”

13. If you’re feeling particularly Anglophilic and the keeper is pudgy: “Ahhhhhh … YOU ATE THE PIES!”

14. Alternate version for Columbus: “Ahhhhhh … YOU ATE THE BRATS!”

15. If the keeper used to play for Manchester United: “Ahhhhhh … YOU ATE THE PRAWNS!”

16. For keepers who are inept on social media: “Ahhhhhh … YOUR TWITTER SUCKS!”

17. For a young keeper, though the reference may be lost on him: “Ahhhhhh … TEENAGE WASTELAND!”

18. For most keepers in the U.S. national team pool: “Ahhhhhh … YOUR HAIR IS GONE!”

19. Just to make keepers self-conscious: “Ahhhhhh … YOU HAVE BACK HAIR!”

20. And when the keepers’ legs are unencumbered: “Ahhhhhh … WHO WEARS SHORT SHORTS!”

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soccer

Washington Spirit vs. Chicago: Spirit willing, flesh weak

Posted on by Beau Dure

It’s getting difficult to write about the Washington Spirit. The options are:

(A) Piling on to a team that’s obviously in an epic slump.

(B) Appearing to be in denial.

Not that it really matters what we the punditocracy think. What matters is what the team thinks. And if you’re a Spirit fan looking for a ray of hope that the team can at least finish strong, it’s this: I sense that the team buys into the notion of a “fresh start” and believes in the direction Mark Parsons is leading it. Ashlyn Harris spoke with the media tonight and buried nothing but this game, saying she’s done with it and ready to move on to the televised game in Seattle.

Tonight isn’t a night to make excuses. In New Jersey over the weekend, the Spirit deserved a result. Not tonight. Yes, the Red Stars’ second goal was a fluke that may have been offside, and yes, the Spirit could’ve earned a PK late. But the ref was erratic, not biased — I couldn’t believe some of the grappling holds the ref allowed Spirit midfielders to use. The Spirit may not have deserved to lose 2-0, but 1-0 would’ve been more than fair. The only team that could feel robbed tonight was the Spirit Reserves, which had 30-plus shots to Fredericksburg’s three but still tied 1-1, which means they’ll have to play their conference playoff in Virginia Beach against the ultraphysical Piranhas.

(Not that “soccer karma” exists. Ashlyn Harris making a tremendous save on a dubious PK call may have been poetic justice, but not soccer karma. That’s a rant for another day, though.)

This wasn’t the Spirit’s night. The positives were Candace Chapman’s steady climb back to her 2010-11 form and a few good stretches of possession. They were often one good pass or one good shot away from a goal or really good chance. But those final touches weren’t there. Diana Matheson hasn’t regained her early-season explosiveness. Conny Pohlers is still slightly off.  As Parsons put it, the last two teams the Spirit played never had them on their heels, but Chicago did.

So what was this “ray of hope” I mentioned? Why is Harris so willing to forget this game so quickly? Why do I get the sense the team is buying into its new direction?

Back up to the Spirit’s draw with Kansas City. Parsons said everyone understood it would take a couple of games to get going with the team’s fresh start, and points in that stretch would be “a bonus.”

It’s not just going to take a couple of games. It’s going to take a few practices. And with five games in 2 1/2 weeks, they’re not getting any practices.

I have to admit it didn’t hit me until I spoke with Parsons after the game. I asked if through balls and finishing were next on the training agenda. He ran through the schedule for the rest of the week: Recovery, flight to Seattle, etc.

The schedule isn’t just exhausting the team. It’s giving them no time to adapt to their new system and their new players. Stephanie Ochs talked a bit after the game about how the attackers still aren’t quite in sync. Fix that, and you fix a lot of problems.

In the last few games, the Spirit has played pretty well for 60 minutes but can’t convert, and the defense eventually gives way. If they can take a lead, the game will look a lot different.

Might help if they could catch a break or two. But again, soccer karma doesn’t exist.

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cycling, olympic sports, tennis

Woly Award: Bryan brothers, tennis

Posted on by Beau Dure

Two remarkable careers, one in tennis and one in cycling, are worth celebrating this week.

Bob and Mike Bryan have been the top doubles team in the world for nearly a decade. Rewind to 2003, when they first claimed the top spot in the year-end doubles rankings, and see how the other names in men’s tennis have changed: Andre Agassi won the Australian Open, Juan Carlos Ferrero won the French, and Andy Roddick won the U.S. Open and finished first in the season rankings.

After all that, the Bryans are somehow getting better. With their win at Wimbledon over the weekend, they’ve become only the second men’s doubles team to hold all four Grand Slam titles at once. And they won the Olympics along the way.

So the Bryans are a rather convincing winner of the Woly Award, given for the top U.S. performance in Olympic sports this week.

But there’s another career that also deserves our attention this week.

Mara Abbott was a fast-rising U.S. cyclist. She won a U.S. title in 2007, when she was fresh out of college. In 2009, she won the King of the Mountains title at the Giro d’Italia Femminile, the biggest stage race in women’s road racing. In 2010, she did even better, winning the overall Giro title.

Why didn’t you hear about Abbott in the 2012 Olympics? Because she had quit. More than that — she had literally starved herself out of the sport, miserable with what her life had become.

Velo magazine published a gripping story on her downfall and comeback a couple of weeks ago. It’s now available on their site. Why put it out on the Web now? Because she just won the Giro again.

And now that she has climbed back to the top, she could be around for a while.

Elsewhere in Olympic sports: Aries Merritt won a Diamond League 110-meter hurdles race in the fifth-best time in the world this year (13.09), U.S. volleyballers had a rough weekend, and shooter Corey Cogdell took World Cup bronze.

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soccer

Washington Spirit vs. Sky Blue: The final third

Posted on by Beau Dure

For two-thirds of the game at Yurcak Soup Bowl last night, the Washington Spirit controlled two-thirds of the field.

The last-place team in the NWSL turned the first-place team (albeit a team weakened by key absences) into a counterattacking team on its home grass. Toni Pressley had a breakthrough game in central defense, keeping everything under control. The midfield of Julia Roberts, Lori Lindsey and Diana Matheson had the better of the action, moving the ball forward with confidence.

But the Spirit simply could not convert in the final third of the field or the final third of the game. Sky Blue’s counterattacks grew progressively more dangerous and got a nice deflection when a ball landed straight in the path of Monica Ocampo, who had a frustrating game but has been an in-form scorer. 1-0 Sky Blue, and that’s how it ended.

For casual fans, I could see the game being a frustrating stalemate. Sky Blue only generated four shots on goal, and the first-half effort could hardly be more harmless — a Taylor Lytle effort that sailed straight to Ashlyn Harris, and a 35-yard Coco Goodson free kick that was surely intended as something else. The last two were actually one scoring chance — a shot, a deflection, and a goal on the rebound.

The Spirit was only credited with one shot on goal, but that’s deceptive — and possibly incorrect. Watching live, I thought this Diana Matheson shot was on goal — Brittany Cameron certainly was in no mood to let it go wide. The play-by-play calls it a “shot” (and mysteriously ascribes it to Toni Pressley). The Spirit immediately reclaimed possession, and then Stephanie Ochs didn’t miss by much.

Then came the chance Conny Pohlers would surely love to have again. Candace Chapman chipped the ball from midfield and caught Pohlers in stride, but the German striker’s first touch was too heavy, and Cameron came out to smother it. That, officially, was the Spirit’s only shot on goal.

Those chances were all in a six-minute stretch in the first half. Later in the half, we had what the Spirit has seen every game — an officiating howler involving Tori Huster. The Spirit’s utility player, lined up again at left back, made a clever passing combination and wound up free with a one-on-one opportunity against Cameron, only to be called offside.

Yeah, about that …

Huster's in the yellow circle. Two Sky Blue defenders are in the red circles. Thanks to @soccerforbev for the photo.
Huster’s in the yellow circle. Two Sky Blue defenders are in the red circles. Thanks to @soccerforbev for the photo.

I was there — I can assure you the lawn-mower lines were running parallel to the end lines. And you’re welcome to check out the video.

(Other officiating tidbits: The ref added no stoppage time in the first half despite lengthy injury delays/water breaks, and players from both teams had to tell him several times the game ball was flat and needed to be replaced. PRO might want to consider making some sort of statement about what they’re going to do to fix NWSL officiating. We’re not just seeing bad judgment calls in split-second situations; we’re seeing basic failures of game management, and that’s inexcusable at this level. Some of these folks seem to understand the Laws even less than the typical TV commentator.)

The Spirit had to be deflated at halftime. They had 45 minutes of beating the top team in the league and nothing to show for it. They were playing their second game in four days, this one in 90-degree heat and high humidity. Worst of all, Colleen Williams had played only a few minutes in front of a crowd padded with her friends and family before falling with a terrible injury. We’ll wait for the MRI, but it doesn’t look good.

The visitors still managed another 15 minutes or so of good play before Sky Blue’s counterattack started to pay dividends. Jim Gabarra said he was planning not to play recovering national teamer Kelley O’Hara, but circumstances dictated her introduction, and she made the Spirit defense pay attention. In the 72nd minute, Goodson put a header just wide on a corner kick. Ninety seconds later, the winning sequence started. The Spirit managed very little in response.

Gabarra was gracious.

“I know they have some good attacking pieces, they’re very good in midfield. I think it’s just a matter of time for them to kind of figure it out.”

That would actually be bad news for Sky Blue, which will face the Spirit twice in August. Can the Spirit make enough progress to play spoiler?

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soccer

Washington Spirit vs. FC Kansas City: Meet the new boss

Posted on by Beau Dure

A promising performance against a talented team. A second-half setback. Then a controversial call late, with Diana Matheson stepping up to convert the penalty kick.

That was the Washington Spirit’s April 20 game against Western New York. And it happened again last night against FC Kansas City.

So in a sense, the Spirit has simply gotten back to where it was at the beginning of the season. But after a five-game losing streak and scoreless streak, it feels like progress.

And it is, in many ways, a different Spirit team. Not just on the sidelines, where new coach Mark Parsons keeps up a constant stream of instructions in sharp contrast to the laid-back Mike Jorden.

– Candace Chapman is finally healthy, and she and Toni Pressley had a strong game in central defense.

– Conny Pohlers, in her first home game, had trouble getting the ball where she wanted it. But she showed her quality a few times and had a terrific shot off a nifty combination with Matheson. (Nicole Barnhart wasn’t awarded a save on the play, and it’s tough to see on the video, but people who saw it from different angles say Barnhart seemed to get a touch on it. The Spirit did get a corner kick, and KC didn’t argue.)

– The late tactical switches were creative. With Pohlers tiring, Parsons didn’t go for the obvious substitution of bringing in a fresh forward like Jasmyne Spencer. He sent in Kika Toulouse, who appeared in her usual outside back spot but also ran around up front. At the same time, Ali Krieger was pushed forward into midfield, to the delight of the Internet’s “Krieger to midfield” activists. (We didn’t see this formation long enough to evaluate it, which Parsons noted afterwards.)

– Colleen Williams, the only Spirit player other than the recently added and recently injured Lupita Worbis not to start a game under Mike Jorden, started this one and drew a nice roar from the crowd upon her introduction.

– The Spirit possessed the ball and had some creativity in the attack. I’d love to see passing stats for this one.

– Matheson has never taken a penalty kick quite like she did last night, chipping it down the middle (Panenka is the official slang term) as Nicole Barnhart sprawled to one side. (Yes, we asked Matheson. No, the shot was not “rifled” into the net. Not sure who gave the KC Star reporter that impression, but take a look at the video, which was indeed up and running at that moment.)

So despite the similarities between this game and the Spirit in April, the “fresh start” mantra has some validity. Parsons conceded that the team knew it might take a couple of games to get going, and he regarded this point as “a bonus.”

Kansas City coach Vlatko Andonovski might refer to it as “bogus.” He told the assembled media, “We can play against the team but not against the referees.” And he hoped referees watch game tape like coaches do.

The YouTube video, unfortunately, cut out when Tiffany McCarty was or was not fouled inside or outside the box. Maybe that explains why, on my way out of the SoccerPlex, a man in an FC Kansas City shirt raced up to me and asked if the people who do the game filming were still around. I told him I didn’t know, so he kept sprinting.

(UPDATE: The Spirit’s highlight package includes the play in question. UPDATE 2: I’ve fixed the link, thanks to the alert from Kevin Parker, who has a game recap with a photo that may prove the call was legit.)

Not sure he got to the film in time, but Andonovski did expound a bit more to the KC Star, saying McCarty may or may not have been fouled but definitely outside the box. “I don’t the referee was in a good position,” he said.

And he reiterated: “We can’t compete against the referees.”

Spirit fans might say, “Well, neither can we.” The referee didn’t blow her whistle very often, letting KC get away with mauling Pohlers. And for some reason, Tori Huster gets flattened once a game with no call. The Spirit was long overdue for some karmic payback for a lot of things this season. (Matheson, for the record, said the PK call was legit, though gutsy.)

And if soccer karma actually exists, then maybe FC Kansas City won’t have anything nasty happen in the playoffs in which they will certainly participate. They’re a terrific team, even without Player of the Month Lauren Cheney (or Holiday?) in the lineup.

Soccer karma would also say a 1-1 result here was just. Kansas City created chances, most of them through speedy and shifty winger Merritt Mathias, but Ashlyn Harris had one of her quieter games for the Spirit. (The stats are deceiving.)

Now the Spirit have to deal with another bit of bad luck — the schedule, which gave the team a three-week break but now gives them five games in 17 days. Somewhere along the way, the Spirit may take another step backward. But the busy schedule also gives them an opportunity to take another step or two forward.

1
olympic sports

Speedskater’s story: From food stamps to thank yous

Posted on by Beau Dure

Short-track speedskater Emily Scott was making a monthly stipend of $1,950. Then it was cut to $600. She applied for food stamps.

My former USA TODAY colleague Kelly Whiteside wrote about Scott’s plight, putting a human face on Olympic athletes’ struggles and dedication.

Then a funny thing happened. Scott was a crowdfunding site, through which she had raised $190 in two months. After Kelly’s story ran, that $190 became $15,000. (It’s now over $22,000.)

Wonderful, heartwarming story.

But the reporting doesn’t stop there. Take a quick look at the U.S. Olympic Committee’s finances and the tough choices it must make.

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olympic sports

Woly Award: Katie Ledecky, swimming

Posted on by Beau Dure

When U.S. swimmers get together for an important meet, fast times follow.

At the U.S. Championships in Indianapolis, Missy Franklin had two world-leading times and two that rank second, winning all four. Ryan Lochte won three events and was second in another.

But the Woly Award this week goes to Katie Ledecky, who has the following distinctions:

1. She won Olympic gold at age 15.

2. She’s not as famous as Franklin, Lochte and company.

3. She won the 400-, 800- and 1,500-meter freestyle, and she finished second in the 200.

4. She broke Janet Evans’ meet record and posted the top time in the world this year in the 1,500.

The full list of top times from the meet, thanks to FINA’s nifty database:

1st in the world this year
M-50 free: Nathan Adrian, 21.47
W-1,500 free: Katie Ledecky, 15:47.15
W-50 back: David Plummer, 24.52
W-100 back: Missy Franklin, 58.67
W-200 back: Missy Franklin, 2:05.68
W-200 IM: Ryan Lochte, 1:55.44

2nd in the world
W-100 free: Missy Franklin, 53.43
W-200 free: Missy Franklin, 1:55.56
W-400 free: Katie Ledecky, 4:04.05
W-100 back: David Plummer, 53.10
W-200 back: Elizabeth Pelton, 2:06.29
W-50 breast: Jessica Hardy, 30.24
W-200 breast: Kevin Cordes, 2:08.34

3rd in the world
M-800 free: Connor Jaeger, 7:46.78
W-50 back: Rachel Bootsma, 27.68
M-200 back: Ryan Lochte, 1:55.16
W-50 breast: Breeja Larson, 30.40
M-50 breast: Kevin Steel, 27.26
W-100 breast: Breeja Larson, 1:06.16
W-200 breast: Breeja Larson, 2:23.44
W-100 fly: Dana Vollmer, 57.53
W-400 IM: Maya Dirado, 4:34.34

Elsewhere, it was a slow week, but a couple of highlights are worth mentioning.

Track and field: Christian Taylor had the second-best triple jump in the world this year as he, Dawn Harper-Nelson and Reese Hoffa won Diamond League events in Birmingham, England.

Tennis: Serena Williams is out of Wimbledon, but Sloane Stephens isn’t.

0
soccer

Questions, answers, guesses on Spirit’s Taylor and Hodak deals

Posted on by Beau Dure

The Washington Spirit apparently isn’t done making news today. The team traded for Lindsay Taylor, yet another young forward with a good resume but someone made expendable in Seattle with Renee Cuellar’s acquisition earlier in the day. The Spirit and Reign also exchanged draft picks — Washington got a “conditional” fourth-rounder from Seattle, the Reign got a second-rounder from the Spirit.

The deal put the Spirit over the roster cap again, so they had to waive someone. And that has stolen a lot of the Twitter discussion. Domenica Hodak had apparently won over a lot of fans. (Or a couple of other players were on the fans’ bad side.)

To analyze this, I’ll make a composite character out of various reactions I’ve seen today.

Q: Is the Taylor deal a good one for the Spirit?

A; Hard to see how it’s not. A second-round pick isn’t that high a price for one of the top players on Stanford’s awesome 2011 championship team, someone who was drafted sixth in the 2012 WPS Draft. (The Spirit is loading up on 2012 draftees — Stephanie Ochs was No. 3, Taylor No. 6, Tori Huster No. 8, former Spirit player Ingrid Wells No. 9, Toni Pressley No. 13, Jasmyne Spencer No. 21.) Even with Conny Pohlers on the roster, another scoring option isn’t a bad thing on a team that hasn’t scored in five games.

And she has scored in a Spirit game already! (Opening goal for Seattle in Washington’s lone win, the 4-2 decision at Seattle.)

Q. But why did they waive Hodak and not Roberts, King or another player I don’t like?

A: Maybe a combination of practice habits and a couple of times being out of position, such as the goal in Kansas City in which Lauren Cheney was wide open on Ashlyn Harris’ doorstep.

Roberts completes tons of passes. Go ahead, check the games out on YouTube.

Q. Why not waive Tiffany McCarty? I don’t like her!

A: You don’t, but a lot of people in soccer do. She was the No. 2 overall pick for a reason, though Chris Henderson ranked her ninth (second among pure forwards after the Spirit’s second-round pick, Caroline Miller.) She’s a U23 mainstay who scored a ton of goals in college.

If McCarty leaves Washington, it’ll be by trade. Not waivers. It’d be stupid to waive someone who has value. Other coaches think they can coax better production out of her than Washington has.

(I know — the Spirit waived Ingrid Wells, who may also have trade value, but there are extenuating circumstances in that case that will be more fully revealed later. Nothing that reflects poorly on her.)

Q. Well, why not waive another attacker? Isn’t the Spirit thin on defense?

A. Remember that Miller is out for the season, but still, that’s a valid question. The defenders on the Spirit: Ali Krieger, Candace Chapman, Toni Pressley, Robyn Gayle, Kika Toulouse. Then Tori Huster, the midfielder who played a lot of outside back for Western New York last year and picked up center back pretty well this year. That’s six. After that — maybe Holly King?

Q. Why not waive Caroline Miller? She’s injured, so that frees a roster spot.

A. First – waiving her means losing her rights for next season. This team intends to be here past August.

Second – waiving a player for no reason other than her injury is a pretty crappy thing to do, it would piss off players and fans, and it would make free agents less likely to come to Washington in the future.

Q. So is that the end of the “Krieger to midfield” movement?

A. Within Spirit camp, I have no indication that it ever begun.

Q. Did the new coach make this deal?

A. Doubtful, at least in terms of the trade. Nothing happens that quickly.

Q. So who’s starting Wednesday?

A. I have even less idea than usual.

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soccer

Washington Spirit fires coaches

Posted on by Beau Dure

The Washington Spirit, mired in a five-game losing streak in which the team has been outscored 13-0, has fired head coach Mike Jorden and assistant coaches Kris Ward and German Peri.

(Updating: The press release just came out with this comment: “I feel everyone at the club has, and will continue to have, great respect for Mike as a professional and as a person,” Spirit general manager Chris Hummer said. “But the poor results of the past six weeks have pushed the team into last place, and that’s just not something we can accept. We have the best fans in NWSL, and they deserve a winning team.”)

Spirit Reserves coach Mark Parsons will move up and coach the senior team. JP Sousa, who has been coaching the Spirit’s Super-20 team, will replace Parsons with the Reserves, who are in second place in the W-League’s Northeastern Conference.

Jorden was a holdover from D.C. United Women, the W-League team that morphed into the Spirit this season. Picked by many (OK, everyone except me) to finish last in the NWSL, the Spirit had a promising start to the year, playing close games with nearly every team in the league and posting a record of 1-2-3 through six games. With Seattle posting its second win of the season over the weekend, Washington has slipped to last place, albeit with two games in hand.

Parsons spent six years coaching teams at Chelsea, including the Chelsea Ladies reserve team. He led D.C. United Women’s Under-20 team to a national final. Like the rest of the Spirit’s coaching staff, he also coaches youth teams in the D.C. area.

The Spirit has little time to adjust to a new coach — the team has games July 3, 6, 10 and 14.

In the Spirit’s costly streak, the first three games were easily explained. Portland is one of the top two teams in the league, and the Spirit put up a decent effort on the road. A tired Spirit team lost its next game in Boston. After a three-week break, the Spirit came out flat against Western New York.

The last two games were more troubling. New forward Conny Pohlers was starved for service. Defensive lapses led to easy goals. Ashlyn Harris carried her frustration to the postgame press conference.

As the old saying goes, it’s easier to fire the coach than the players.

So what now?

The move creates more pressure on the players. Jorden already had thrown competition for starting spots wide open, juggling his lineups over the last few games. That competition will intensify now.

And ultimately, a coaching change won’t magically make the team play better. It’s going to be up to the players.

5