Single-Digit Soccer: Great moments in halftime speeches

Here’s my attempt to make sure my players didn’t get caught up in any unsportsmanlike antics yesterday (my comments in bold; the rest are from various kids):

So we’re all going to be cool, OK? Like Fonzie. What’s Fonzie like?

(blank stares)

You all don’t know Fonzie, do you?


Wait, is he a Muppet?

Fonzie’s really … cool … OK?

No, he’s not a Muppet!

He’s a cool Muppet?

Which Muppet is he?

No, no — he’s not a Muppet.

Are you sure?

Is he the chicken Muppet?

No, Fonzie was on Happy Days.

What’s Happy Days?

Happy Days was a TV show with Fonzie.

A Muppet was on Happy Days?

No — FOZZIE is the Muppet.


Is he supposed to be funny?

Yes. And he’s the bear, not the chicken.

I thought he was supposed to be cool.

Wait, you want us to be like the bear?

OK, let’s start over …

I thought about trying to explain the Pulp Fiction reference, but I didn’t want to shock any parents.


Categories: soccer

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