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The Ultimate Fighter Live: Unlucky week for Cruz

The idiosyncrasies of the new TUF format are truly coming home to roost.

Basically, we’re not yet through the first full round of competition. And we’ve completely run out of time to show what’s happening in the house.

The last three weeks are packed. Two quarterfinals May 11. Two more May 18. Then the semifinals May 25. And because it’s live, we don’t know how long the fights will last. They have to allow 15-20 minutes per quarterfinal and devote the entire May 25 episode to the semis.

If we get another Koscheck-Leben blowup or a Junie Browning meltdown, they’ll have to rush right through it. At this point, there’s no point to keeping these guys in the house.

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A modest proposal on The Ultimate Fighter’s format

Still working on my book, and I’m to the point of comparing different tournament formats that have been used over the years in The Ultimate Fighter. The show has a few issues:

1. Overkill. With one weight class and the fights to get in the house, fighters can have five fights — more, if they use the “wild card” format of the past.

2. Good fighters out in first episode. The “fights to get in the house” are exciting TV, but they sometimes lose good fighters like Che Mills and Ryan Jimmo before they set foot in the house.

3. Bad fighters advance ahead of good. Depending on the way the coaches draw up the matchups, two top draft picks can face off in the first episode of the show while two so-so fighters fight for a space in the semifinals.

The solutions:

1. Two weight classes. Never go back to having just one. With seven weight classes in play (eight, if they ever do flyweight), they can keep a steady rotation. Problem solved: Fighters won’t have as many elimination rounds.

2. Wild card after elimination fights, not first round. The “wild card” concept was introduced to give a first-round loser another shot. But by that time, we had really seen enough of the fighters to see whether they were UFC caliber. We really weren’t losing good fighters in the first round (Court McGee was an exception, but he should’ve already earned a shot in the UFC).

Instead, bring in 12 fighters per weight class. Six fighters will win their way into the house. Then use two wild cards so you’re not tossing out good fighters after a quick one-round audition, particularly if the matchmakers underestimated their opponents. Problem solved: Fewer good fighters knocked out before the show really starts, and you’re still weeding out the posers. (Really, you’re only likely to have a couple of posers make it that far in the audition process in the first place. Why bring in 32 fighters and then assume exactly half of them are unworthy of the show?)

3. NCAA-style brackets. The draft will have eight fighters per weight class. Instead of letting the coaches figure out the best matchups for their team, seed the brackets. If you’re picked first, congratulations — you’re the top seed, and you’ll face the guy picked eighth. Problem solved: Greater likelihood of seeing top guys in the final. The viewer’s needs are placed ahead of the coach’s.

We’ll need to change the coin flip, too. The winner gets a choice between first pick and first matchup. Instead, give the winner a choice between the two weight classes. Let’s say you have welterweights and heavyweights. Coach A wins the flip and opts to pick first among the welterweights. Then Coach B gets first pick among the heavyweights.

So that’s one geeky guy’s take on the format. Surely some people will tell me they’ve trained in jiu-jitsu and taekwondo; therefore, I’m full of it and should shut up. But I’d be curious to hear other thoughts.

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The Ultimate Fighter Live, Episode 3: Three! Three silly pranks … ah ah ah ah …

A look inside the locker room of Justin Lawrence, who was unknown until he destroyed WEC veteran James Krause in the prelims. Now he’s being touted as a huge favorite.

Then a long recap of last week’s fight action, where Cruickshank got “too comfortable” (in Dana White’s words) and got KO’d.

And … it’s a new theme song! A famous one, too — the Red Hot Chili Peppers’ cover of Stevie Wonder’s Higher Ground. Also the walkout music of TUF 1 constestant/TUF 12 coach Josh Koscheck, a friend of the band’s.

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The Ultimate Fighter Live, Episode 2: Bad news, surprising fight

The opening is unfamiliar. As with the season opener last week, we have Jon Anik’s voice introducing us live, even though we’re going to have 45 minutes of reality TV first. Then it’s a ponderous intro explaining the new format in vivid detail. Dana White nearly falls out of a chair.

The usual theme music is gone. The graphics have changed. It barely looks like TUF.

We see the fighters going to the house late at night, probably just after the live broadcast last week, and immediately racing to choose beds.

Michael Chiesa is excited to have a place to live rent-free. Jeremy Larsen thinks it’s like a first date — everybody’s on their best behavior. Still drinking a bit, of course, but no house shenanigans. We go straight back to the gym for the draft.

Since the UFC was kind enough to send a press release with records and hometowns, I’ll include that in the draft roundup along with a couple of reminders of who’s who:

  1. Cruz: Justin Lawrence (4-0), Villa Ridge, Mo.; destroyed WEC vet James Krause in prelim.
  2. Faber: Al Iaquinta (6-1-1), Wantagh, N.Y.; Serra-Longo product won tough prelim bout most remembered for opponent Jon Tuck’s nasty broken toe.
  3. Cruz: Sam Sicilia (11-0), Spokane Valley, Wash.; won prelim in eight seconds.
  4. Faber: Cristiano Marcello (13-3), Curitiba, Brazil; Brazilian jiu-jitsu expert.
  5. Cruz: Myles Jury (10-0), San Diego, Calif.; first repeat contestant in TUF history.
  6. Faber: Daron Cruickshank (10-2); Wayne, Mich.; impressive in decision win in prelims.
  7. Cruz: Mike Rio (9-1), Miami, Fla.; sole loss was to Efrain Escudero.
  8. Faber: Joe Proctor (8-1), Pembroke, Mass.; “recommendation from Joe Lauzon,” won good prelim bout over Jordan Rinaldi.
  9. Cruz: James Vick (5-0); Fort Worth, Texas; split-decision winner over Dakota Cochrane.
  10. Faber: Michael Chiesa (8-0), Spokane Valley, Wash.; obliterated prelim opponent.
  11. Cruz: Vinc Pichel (8-0), Sherman Oaks, Calif.; KO specialist won prelim with nasty elbow on the ground, finished with rear naked choke.
  12. Faber: John Cofer (8-1), Hull, Ga.; scrapped out win over experienced Mark Glover.
  13. Cruz: Chris Tickle (8-4), Bloomington, Ill.; those losses were early in his career, and his prelim was a demolition.
  14. Faber: Andy Ogle (9-1), Tynemouth, England; barely won prelim.
  15. Cruz: Jeremy Larsen (9-2), Phoenix, Ariz.; tough prelim win against a game Jeff Smith.
  16. Faber: Chris Saunders (10-2), Long Beach, Calif.; “The SoCal kid” won the worst prelim fight.

Faber practices first, and everyone loves him and each other. Cruz’s session gets a timestamp for Saturday — early TUF episodes would say “Day 13” and so forth, but that was phased out. This is new.

Tickle is an interesting situation. He’s apparently a buddy of Faber’s who figured he’d be on Faber’s team. Cruz knew that. But after 12 picks, Cruz was sick of waiting. Faber looked stunned. Tickle was irritated that he didn’t go earlier.

And then Cruz decides to test Tickle right away, throwing him in a grappling session with top pick Lawrence. He takes it well and manages to bond a bit with his team.

Off to fight selection. Faber won the coin toss and chose the first fight instead of the first pick. That’s not a bad idea. Setting the matchups can lead to a long run of wins. But I’ve already seen the result here, so I know Faber botched the pick.

And first, Faber says his dad called and said Cruz is a bold-faced liar. “There’s some UFC magazine saying my parents gave me a gym.” Faber denies such a thing and is pissed that Cruz brought up “family.” Cruz says he won’t bring up family and apologizes to Faber’s parents. It’s one of the least interesting debates in TUF coaching history.

Fight pick: Vick vs. Cruickshank. Faber thinks Vick lost his prelim fight, so it’ll be an easy win for Cruickshank.

Then comes the shocker.

Chiesa, the easygoing guy with the tangled hair and beard, says he was at practice getting warmed up when Faber told him he had to call his mom. He surely knows it’s not good news. He retreats to a dressing room and learns that his father has passed away.

He struggles through a confessional, saying his dad has been fighting AML, a form of cancer.

Chiesa says he had promised his dad he would stay on the show. But he tells his mom he’ll see what his options are. Faber goes in to comfort him and says in confessional he hopes he’ll stay.

Back at the house, Chiesa calls Sam Sicilia over. They’re training partners. They barely get in the house before Chiesa breaks down and chokes out the words that his father passed away. Sicilia is emotional in his own confessional.

Sicilia stresses the positive — his dad got to see him fight and win on national TV.

After an ad break, we get another Anik voiceover reminding us about the fight coming up. It’s a little jarring given what’s going on in the episode.

Timestamp: Monday. Chiesa goes in to meet with Dana White. They agree that he’ll go home to see his family and attend the funeral, then return. Maybe it’s cliche, but it’s what his dad wanted.

We meet Vick. He grew up poor and takes fighting very seriously. Strategically, Cruz wants him to stay busy so he doesn’t fall prey to Cruickshank’s takedowns. But Cruz also gives him a grappling crash course with the help of Lloyd Irvin, whose team and supporters typically deafen fans at DC-area MMA cards. Enthusiastic folks.

Cruickshank: “Some people are born fighters and some are raised fighters. I’d say I’m both.” His parents have martial arts backgrounds. Faber is training him to defend specific submissions that Vick might try. A little strange considering that Cruickshank says Vick considers himself a boxer.

Cruickshank seems overconfident. But we know the producers aren’t telegraphing anything because the fight is live.

Chiesa returns. He found out that his dad hung on to see him fight last week, then rapidly declined a few hours later.

Weigh-in: Thursday 4 p.m. That’s Pacific time, so we know the editors have had a little more than 24 hours to put this together. Ogle says Cruickshank has been kickboxing since he was born and will be going for KO of the season.

Again — we have to remind ourselves that the producers are not telegraphing things. We have no idea if the overconfident fighter is getting come-uppance.

“And we welcome you live,” Jon Anik says. Backstage with Cruz and Vick, then Faber and Cruickshank.

Vick is the tallest fighter in the competition at 6-3, Anik tells us. They offer up “keys to victory,” and Vick’s are to use his reach and keep his back off the fence. Cruickshank needs to control the center of the cage and push the pace.

Cruickshank charges in with uppercut. Vick high kick. Cruickshank spins. Vick charges. Curickshank leg kick, then spinning back kick, then charges for a takedown.

And Vick knocks him out cleanly with a knee.

Vick and team celebrate. Then the camera gets close into the huddle around Cruickshank, where referee Herb Dean is telling him to relax. He got caught. Fight’s over.

The official word: knockout, 2:16 into the round. Anik comes in to do a postfight interview. Vick says his knee was supposed to be a kick, but it worked out pretty well.

Anik also talks with Cruickshank. “What happened at the end of the fight?” “I don’t remember too much,” he says with a smile. The smile fades when Anik asks if it’ll be tough to stay focused for the next 12 weeks. Yes, 12 weeks in the house and the gym, with no chance of fighting again unless someone gets hurt. Reality has set in.

Back from the break, Anik talks with Dana, who says Faber underestimated Vick. Then Dana walks across the gym, like Stephen Colbert going for an interview, to do the fight picks.

Cruz throws everyone a curve. He calls up No. 1 pick Justin Lawrence, then says Faber can pick whichever guy he wants. Dana says he’s never seen that before. Faber jokes, “Shall we do the finals now?” Then he tentatively asks his team who’s ready to scrap. No one is. Faber asks Lawrence to make a pick, and he takes Marcello.

So things are off to a pretty bad start for Faber. But Chiesa’s week puts that in perspective.

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The case for Mayhem Miller

Jason “Mayhem” Miller won the coaching battle with Michael Bisping, hands down. And his attitude during the show compared with Bisping’s made it easy for fans to pick sides going into last night’s fight.

But Miller really didn’t have much of a chance. He hadn’t fought in 16 months, and his last fight was a largely ceremonial dispatching of aging legend Sakuraba. He had only one prior fight in the UFC, in 2005 against Georges St. Pierre. Dana White says he didn’t look too good in that one, but who looks good against GSP? White and some of the media sang Dan Hardy’s praises for the mere act of not being submitted in a five-round whitewash. (Hardy lost his next three fights.)

Miller’s much better on the ground than he is on his feet. Last night, he was fighting a kickboxing monster in Bisping who’s also a bit bigger — Bisping’s a former light heavyweight, Miller sometimes fights at welterweight.

So Miller, rather predictably, came out and had a strong first round (FightMetric stats clearly favor him) but used up all his energy in doing so. Bisping pounded him for another round and a half before the fight was stopped.

White didn’t seem bullish on Miller’s future after last night’s loss. He Tweeted that the fight was one of the most lopsided in UFC history, though it clearly wasn’t the most lopsided of the night. (That would be Johnny Bedford’s gruesome beatdown of Louis Gaudinot in another substantial size mismatch.) Even after getting called out on Twitter by people pointing to Miller’s first-round performance and countless lopsided fights in UFC history (Quarry-Starnes, Silva-Griffin), he stuck by it in his postfight interview with Ariel Helwani. He was even less enthusiastic about Miller in his interview with Heavy MMA.

Four reasons to keep Mayhem in the Octagon:

1. He deserves a shot to be something other than the big underdog. His two UFC fights are against the greatest welterweight of all time and a top contender who’s a bad matchup for him even if he hasn’t been inactive for 16 months. If Hardy gets to stick around after dropping four straight, why cut Miller?

2. Grappling doesn’t suck. Variety is a good thing on a UFC card. The organization has plenty of “stand-and-bang” guys who stick around forever even though they’ll never crack the top 20. How about keeping a guy who can bring it on the ground?

3. He’s a good personality. He could easily join Stephan Bonnar and Amir Sadollah in the rotation of analyst/panelist/interviewers. (And let him do a real entrance next time.)

4. Promotional credibility. Fans tend to notice if you hype somebody up and then dump on them after one mistake.

Mayhem brought a lot to this season of The Ultimate Fighter, and that’s nothing to take lightly. We need to quit pretending that the best fighters are necessarily the best or most compelling TUF coaches. (See Lesnar, Brock. Or Hughes, Matt.) Maybe he has a long way back before he can coach there again, but people would probably tune in.

If Strikeforce continues as the flashy, techno-infused sibling to the rock-and-rap UFC, maybe Mayhem would be a better fit there in the long run. But surely he deserves at least one more shot in the UFC first. He did the UFC a great service by helping them reinvigorate The Ultimate Fighter before it moves to a new network. Seems like he should get some capital out of that valuable service.

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The Ultimate Fighter: Season 14, Episode 10: A punchy farewell to Spike

And we bid a fond farewell to The Ultimate Fighter on Spike. This is the final episode (not counting the finale, which is basically a “Fight Night” card) that will air before the UFC takes its programming over to the Fox networks. Spike and the UFC have had seven years of remarkable brand-building together.

This one probably won’t have a lot of the shenanigans we’ve seen through TUF history. We have two fights, and the Bisping-Mayhem feud has fizzled.

We still have a feud between John Dodson and Johnny Bedford. Or at least a one-way hatred between Bedford, who has decided to judge lest he be judged. Or something like that. I’m not sure what they covered in their Bible study.

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The Ultimate Fighter: Season 14, Episode 9: Efficient, yes, but exciting?

I messed up “Episode” and “Season” in my last headline. Oops. Anyway, it’s Season 14, Episode 9.

Dustin Pague and his Mayhem teammates drop off a bag of food for a needy guy they’ve seen on their route to and from the training center. Nice.

Dustin also has a fight coming up, and Mayhem says he has dramatically improved. The game plan: Move around a lot, create angles, stay away from TJ Dillashaw’s straight-ahead punches and takedown efforts. Also, God’s plan will prevail.

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The Ultimate Fighter: Episode 14, Season 8: Fire extinguishers! Near-KOs!

Five minutes ago, I was watching the Family Ties episode in which Alex races to the train station to confess his love to Ellen, a scene made that much sweeter by the knowledge that the actors — Michael J. Fox and Tracy Pollan — are a couple to this day.

Now? Michael Bisping. This is like switching from the Sundays singing “Wild Horses” to Megadeth ranting about whatever those idiots rant about.

The house is splitting up into three groups. John Dodson and the other flyweight leprechaun dudes hang out in one spot. Dennis Bermudez, Johnny Bedford and a few others are studying the Bible. The others are in the “casino” group, playing cards.

 

Akira, the prankster who manages to rationalize his own hijinks while flipping out when someone returns the favor, shaves part of someone’s hair. That appears to be Bryan Caraway, who chases him across the house to threaten him. These lighter weight classes are FAST. (See SB Nation for more of Akira’s rationalizations. They’re actually quite amusing. He might be the most diabolical genius ever to appear on this show.)

Mayhem heard Bisping was planning a prank on his car. He arrives at the training center by bike.

Bisping and his coaches arrive in the parking lot with a massive skid, as if they’ve just won a NASCAR race and want to try a few donuts in celebration. Bisping and Tiki Ghosn peek into Team Mayhem’s dressing room for an idiotic chat to distract everyone. Spike has been building this prank up for weeks. Let’s see … after the break …

The ad break includes a terrific ad for UFC 139, which has a tremendous main card. Hendo-Shogun, Wandy-Cung Le, Faber-Bowles, Kampmann-Story. How deep is the card? Ryan Bader and Miguel Torres are in the prelims. (No, not against each other. Bader wold have a slight size advantage.)

When we return, Bisping blasts fire extinguishers into Mayhem’s dressing room. Bisping’s dressing room door is destroyed. Then a mariachi band walks through the hallway and appears outside. No further explanation would make any more sense of the situation.

Mayhem applauds, giving the credit to Tiki. Bedford, who can be found griping each week at mma.usatoday.com, gripes about it.

Bisping says they did the research and found the fire extinguishers aren’t toxic.

The whole thing seems to backfire on Bisping in a sense, though. The gym is trashed from the fire extinguisher crossfire, so Louis, Diego, Josh and Akira run sprints around the parking lot because they can’t train.

Back to the house — we don’t know much about Dennis, and it turns out we haven’t heard much because he’s not particularly coherent.

Back to the gym — Bisping gets a water-spraying ambush from a restroom. He doesn’t like water sprays. He kicks open the door. Surprise! It’s Akira! Who’s on his team!

Since Akira is supposed to be fighting Dennis, they put Akira through a brutal workout in which he starts out on his back and has to escape over and over while teammates take turns holding him down.

But Akira has enough energy to do another prank with Marcus Brimage’s help. Marcus jumps on Bisping’s back and rubs his sweaty jock strap in Bisping’s face. Marcus runs away, leaving Akira to deal with Bisping. The larger, fresher coach tosses Akira down and wraps the jock strap around Akira’s face. “I actually had to taste his salty balls,” Akira says.

This has gone to a weird place.

After the ad break, Bisping shows up at the house and calls Marcus out of the house. The result: A silly-string war.

Team Miller finally gets some screen time. Mayhem brought his dog again. More importantly, he brings Siyar Bahadurzada, a Golden Glory-trained fighter who just signed with the UFC and has impressive kickboxing skills. He apparently has some experience with Akira as well.

Back from the break, Akira serenades Dennis, rhyming “weigh-in” with “slaying.” He has a terrific voice. The UFC should hire him to do trash talk for reticent fighters.

Johnny says Akira-Dennis will be about a “three-minute beating.”

Dana thinks Akira bit off more than he can chew by calling out Dennis.

Bisping talks more trash to Mayhem, leading to this odd confessional quote from Mayhem: “I respect Michael Bisping. He’s a seasoned fighter. But I respect my father, and that didn’t stop me from kicking his ass.”

It’s already 10:47. This is shaping up to be a short fight. And the winner is in the final. He’ll get slaughtered by Diego Brandao, but still …

MMA Junkie always posts its recap at 10:55, so we may know the result before the broadcast of the fight starts.

We start at 10:52. Akira catches him early. And again. And he stuffs two Dennis takedown attempts. Dennis is lunging with punches. They trade big punches. Akira lands another big one. Dennis responds. Huge left drops Dennis, who recovers and shoots, then slams. He ends up with a guillotine. Akira taps just before he conks out. Herb Dean, ironically, was the ref when Akira possibly tapped in his last fight, and he’s here to stop this one.

In the recap, Marcus marvels that one of Akira’s punches spun Dennis around. Mayhem laments Dennis’s long-range takedown efforts but was happy that the takedown occurred in his own corner. He was able to ccoach Dennis like he was playing a video game.

Akira comes to and thinks the fight is still on. Bisping has to stop him, saying “guillotine, guillotine.”

A stunning fight, one that surely won’t hurt Akira’s UFC prospects despite the loss. And another fast-paced episode. Did you ever guess Mayhem would be less interested in pranks than Bisping?

Next week: Bisping-Mayhem coach’s challenge — air hockey! Dustin Pague eats a bug and then faces TJ Dillashaw.

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The Ultimate Fighter: Season 14, Episode 7: Ground and … hey! Hold still!

Roland Delorme’s foot looks nasty, and he’s despondent. He’s supposed to be getting ready for a fight against TJ Dillashaw.

Chute Boxe pioneer Rafael Cordeiro comes in to join Mayhem’s training. John Dodson in particular seems entranced as he watches Cordeiro teach.

Bisping brings in a special guest of his own — Tito Ortiz. Akira is thrilled. Ortiz gives a speech that seems geared toward elementary school students, but then he gives a ground-and-pound lesson. Marcus Brimage is stunned that Tito has such a big head. He means that literally.

Akira and Diego Brandao, both Bisping featherweights, decide to teach “draft-dodger” TJ Dillashaw a lesson in training. Diego gets TJ in some nasty submissions, including a kneebar. Akira gets a little rough in sparring, which TJ avenges with a nice slam. Marcus wasn’t initially involved, but he gets ticked when TJ starts roughing him up.

“I didn’t know there was a deeper reason,” Bisping says of the rough stuff. Akira tells him later the plan was to knock TJ out, which Bisping does not appreciate. The coach gives TJ a night off.

Delorme gets cleared to fight. And some good news — having an infection helped him keep his weight down, so he won’t have to cut as much before facing TJ.

Prank time! Somehow, Mayhem gets a road crew to put jersey walls around the Escalade of Bisping assistant Tiki Ghosn. Mayhem spray-paints a couple of red Ms to get the point across. He also paints 12-3-2011 — the date he’ll face Bisping.

The weigh-in is sponsored by the Harold and Kumar 3D film.

We learn more about Roland. He sold a restaurant outside Winnipeg. Not mentioned: He impressed at his audition by cussing out the producers.

TJ was a college wrestler at Cal State Fullerton. We aren’t told anything particularly interesting about him. That might not be an editing oversight.

Steve Mazzagatti is our ref, and off we go. TJ takes him down right away, but Roland surprisingly gets back up right away. TJ goes again, and Roland goes for a guillotine. That’s a miscalculation that allows TJ go get on top. TJ quickly passes to side control, and the chances of an upset are dimming. But Roland escapes again. TJ throws a hard uppercut. But he prefers takedowns, and he drags Roland down against the cage, taking his back in the process. TJ starts to go for the rear naked choke, but Roland fends that off and flips to his back, keeping TJ in half-guard. TJ does some ground-and-pound, though not with much authority. They scramble again, and TJ goes for a difficult choke from a strange angle. Roland gets up once again and lands a decent combo, then fends off another takedown attempt. TJ trips him into a scramble and again winds up on top at the end of a round he won rather easily, even if he pounded the mat more often than his opponent.

Round 2 starts with a TJ knockdown off a powerful right hand. Roland tries to recover, and TJ again goes for a fancy choke before settling on the devastating technique known as “laying on someone.” But he progresses to the side and rakes a few elbows on Roland’s face, which is finally starting to show some wear. TJ finally gets a more conventional rear naked choke. Roland was never in it, and the side of his face is swollen pretty badly.

For once, we have no shenanigans in the cage after a Bisping victory. We go straight to semifinal picks, where they bring in the fighters. Bedford wants Dodson to pay him back for his treachery. The editors don’t spend much time on the featherweights.

The coaches actually agree on the picks, continuing the most subdued showing from Bisping all season. Maybe his most subdued showing in three seasons as a coach and fighter.

The picks are:

TJ Dillashaw vs. Dustin Pague

John Dodson vs. Johnny Bedford – Dodson says Bedford is too lanky to deal with him. Bedford has been ripping Dodson at USA TODAY all season.

Akira Corassani vs. Dennis Bermudez – Akira says Dennis is a wrestler who’s scared of his standup. Yeah, Dennis is going to walk through him. And Akira seems a little less popular in the house these days.

Diego Brandao vs. Bryan Caraway – the phenom vs. the veteran.

Next week, we see Akira get his comeuppance. Maybe. This isn’t scripted, you know.