us soccer, women's soccer

No, the WNT didn’t lose in court because the MNT lost in Couva

The court ruling that decimated the U.S. women’s soccer team’s lawsuit had a peculiar irony that didn’t escape the sharp eyes of many who read the case: The women’s earned more than the men, not just over the course of five years but per game, because the men failed to qualify for the World Cup and therefore missed out on a ton of bonus money. And that fact was Point No. 1 in the decision.

Image by Mdesigns from Pixabay

Yes, that could be another verse for Alanis Morissette to consider.

No, it didn’t cost the WNT the case. It just saved Judge R. Gary Klausner a bit of time. “The Court need not address the remaining elements of Plaintiffs’ prima facie case,” Klausner wrote, surely with a sigh of relief that he didn’t have to delve into anything more complex than that.

Both sides presented plenty of hypotheticals; e.g., whether the MNT would make more under the WNT deal or vice versa. This period of time just gave the judge a scenario that he couldn’t dismiss as implausible — because it actually happened.

In any case, a lot of analyses are overlooking the more damning part of Klausner’s ruling. The women willingly traded higher bonuses for greater stability. They can’t turn around and complain that they would have been paid more under a deal they didn’t actually want.

That fact also saved Klausner some time. He didn’t have to walk through the four-part test of the WNT’s legal burden that Elon professor Andrew Haile, a former Davidson soccer player, spelled out in an Oregon Law Review piece. Klausner only really addressed No. 2: Rate of Pay.

The judge didn’t deal with No. 1: The “Same Establishment,” on which U.S. Soccer had a legitimate argument that the MNT and WNT “effectively operate in different markets,” as Haile said. Nor did he address No. 3: “Equal Work,” on which Haile was more bullish on the WNT winning. The USSF had plenty of sound arguments on No. 4: Pay differences for reasons “Other Than Sex” — including revenue generation.

Here’s where we find another irony, one that acts as a bit of a counterweight to the first one. Yes, the men’s failure to qualify for the World Cup suppressed their pay. But it also suppressed the team’s revenue, which had been running well ahead of the WNT’s in the years before this all started in 2016. (The exception was a World Cup year, but that difference hardly made up the differences in 2011-15.)

So if the case had gone to court back when the EEOC complaint that became this lawsuit was filed in 2016, before the men’s disastrous World Cup qualifying campaign, U.S. Soccer would have had that much stronger of an argument that the disparity is due to reasons “other than sex”: Just look at the revenue.

That’s not necessarily fair. U.S. Soccer is a nonprofit charged with growing the game in the United States. That’s why it pays for things like Paralympic soccer and development programs that are guaranteed to lose money. They should be supporting women’s soccer even if they lose money. (In the strictest sense, they do, but the women’s team certainly helps bring in the sponsorship and marketing money that is by far the biggest revenue-driver in the USSF budget.)

Which brings us back to the point you’ve seen from so many knowledgeable people in women’s soccer such as Andrew Das, Kelsey Trainor and Julie Foudy: Any more progress the women make will be made at the negotiating table that they’ve avoided for a while. (It’s certainly possible that U.S. Soccer made that table unpleasant at times.)

So the suit may have served a purpose beyond any settlement the WNT may get on the remaining points on support for the team aside from paychecks. That’s the conclusion of Caitlin Murray, who literally wrote the book on the WNT and points out that the suit sparked a strong wave of public attention and pressure that has forced U.S. Soccer to address a few issues already.

Unless the women appeal, which would be an appalling decision akin to when MLS players — also represented by Jeff Kessler — dragged out their case two unnecessary years, everyone has a chance to avoid embarrassing situations.

The WNT can avoid having their case picked apart in court. They can avoid having Meghan Klingenberg, Kelley O’Hara and union chief Becca Roux called by the Federation, which found items in their depositions that they believe favored their side.

The Federation can avoid the optics of cross-examining beloved celebrities. Even if they’re not asking the insulting questions about skill and physical abilities that prompted USSF President Carlos Cordeiro’s resignation and an abrupt reshuffling of their legal team, USSF lawyers surely would love to avoid questioning Alex Morgan (pending pregnancy) and Megan Rapinoe while journalists who don’t know the details of the case sit with poised skewers.

And the Federation finally has the opportunity to wriggle out of a situation it created by accident — an MNT contract with World Cup bonuses they’ll never need to pay the men and can’t afford to pay the women.

The MNT won’t like hearing this, but World Cup bonus money is the whole reason the Federation is in this mess. When U.S. Soccer agreed to a deal that would pay the MNT north of $25 million if they won the Cup, a significant but not overwhelming chunk of FIFAs $38 million prize money, they didn’t anticipate that the women would see the same money, which would have given the Federation a loss of more than $20 million on FIFA’s laughable $4 million prize money for the Women’s World Cup.

In Australia and Norway, the federations have reached “equal pay” deals because women accepted equal percentages of prize money, not equal payouts. The USWNT certainly wouldn’t have accepted that calculation in their request for back pay. U.S. Soccer probably would have.

FIFA has pledged to double the prize money for the 2023 Women’s World Cup. But unless they double that figure and then double it again, we’ll still have a large disparity in the winnings available for the MNT and the WNT.

Everything outside the World Cup bonuses can and should be as equal as possible. U.S. Soccer might not accept the argument that the SheBelieves Cup would be as important as the Gold Cup or Copa America if only they asked FIFA to recognize it as such, but the details aren’t impossible to work out.

Seriously — the women made that argument about the SheBelieves Cup. If you want another bit of irony, just bear in mind that U.S. Soccer created that competition for the sole purpose of boosting the women’s game.

And that’ll give us one last opportunity to look at the women’s court filings and see the contortions their lawyers made. These are from the Plaintiffs’ Statement of Additional Genuine Disputes in Support of Their Motion for Partial Summary Judgment:

Disputed that the “results of friendly matches, such as those in the SheBelieves Cup or Tournament of Nations, are not as heavily weighted in FIFA’s team rankings as those in non-friendly competitions such as the Gold Cup, Copa America, or the FIFA Confederations Cup.” This purported “fact” is only Mr. Gulati’s opinion.

Sunil Gulati would need very little time to produce the documents backing up this “opinion.” Actually, the women also get more heavily weighted rankings from continental competitions than they do from the SheBelieves Cup.

Disputed that “in the world of international soccer there is more prestige involved in winning an official continental championship, such as the Gold Cup or Copa America, than winning a friendly tournament such as the SheBelieves Cup or Tournament of Nations. This additional prestige results from factors such as the number of participants in the tournaments, the fact that the continental championships are continental championships in the first place (and not friendly matches), the fact that they include knockout rounds and a final match, and the comparative age of the tournaments.” This purported “fact” is only Mr. Gulati’s opinion.

Good luck disputing that in court.

USSF has acknowledged that it has not attempted to register the SheBelieves Cup and the Tournament of Nations, tournaments it hosts, with FIFA, and that FIFA’s recognition may not be needed.

What does that even mean?

How much money did both sides have to pay their lawyers to come up and refute such ridiculous points? Billable hours aren’t cheap.

The women might not get as much back pay as they wanted. But we can turn to the future and figure out how to solve this.

Let’s go back to Julie Foudy again for her solution: Pool everything together and split it …

The arguments against:

  1. If the MNT made a decent World Cup run, they’d end up making less money than they would under their own deal.
  2. Each team, likely within each union, would need to figure out how to split their money.

The arguments for:

  1. Figuring out how to split that money within each team may be a good thing. In the WNT, we’d have to hope they do more to get money to more people in the talent pool. As it stands now, the difference between being the 23rd player and being the 27th player in the pool can be the difference between a solid six-figure payout and the need to find a side hustle.
  2. One Nation, One Team. While the MNT union has mastered the art of being performatively woke in its statements backing the WNT, even though a $66m payout to the WNT — especially given the COVID-19 budget cuts — would effectively kill any hope they have of getting a raise in the new deal to replace the one that expired 16 months ago, there’s a rift between some MNT fans and WNT fans. Shockingly, bashing the MNT apparently didn’t sit well with a lot of supporters. Split the pot equally, and then every MNT success helps the WNT and vice versa.
  3. No more lawsuits. Equal pay. Surely no more strike threats either. As revenue increases, player pay would increase as well.

So if you’re looking for a way to inspire the next generation of women’s players, make a deal that ensures labor peace and equal pay (however they can define it) now and down the road. And try to leave a bit of money to develop the younger players who’ll form the generation after that.

pro soccer, us soccer, women's soccer

Welcome, drive-by pundits. Can we introduce you to the NWSL?

I’ll toss this into the “maybe tying pay to revenue isn’t such a good idea” argument, and please don’t take one part out of context …

Over the past week, per the daily Soccer America newsletter, eight MLS games and one CONCACAF game had better attendance than the WNT’s game in Tampa.

What does this mean? Let’s ponder.

Marketing: You may argue that the WNT game wasn’t properly marketed. Possibly. I don’t know how to quantify it. I just know people said that about MLS for years.

If I knew where to advertise, my books would sell more and my blog would’ve made money. So I’m the last guy to ask about that, and I’m interested in hearing ideas.

Maybe MLS teams have the advantage of being in town all year every year. But at the same time, fans can see them play whenever, and how often is the WNT in Tampa? Shouldn’t fans be taking advantage of that rare opportunity?

No, MLS isn’t the MNT. Maybe the MNT isn’t properly marketed outside of Mexico games, either. You can support the WNT’s legal case and still say the MNT games should be treated better – or ticket prices should be lower. If it becomes either/or, everyone suffers.

But in any case, drive-by media pundits who only know World Cups and Olympics miss the boat with WoSo attendance triumphalism. They have no idea that tens of thousands show up to see Zlatan. Rooney. Martinez. Tim Howard’s farewell tour. Jordan Morris. Efrain Martinez. (Google him.) Would you rather see the since-departed Almiron or the MNT? Thought so.

Maybe it would help if everyone, including the drive-byers, paid more attention to the NWSL. Then they’d have the advantage of a consistent community presence that MLS teams enjoy.

Not that the NWSL has done particularly well in marketing, either. Maybe a new broadcast deal will help. Assuming they get one.

The international challenge: Women’s soccer won’t thrive on the SheBelieves Cup alone. Nor can it rely on a big boost every quadrennium with a win or thrilling run to the final in the World Cup or Olympics. Not with European teams turning up the heat. England has crashed the party. France, propelled by two big-spending clubs, has been there for a while. Germany and Sweden never really left. Then all those teams were bested in Euro 2017 by the Netherlands and Denmark. Then those teams fell far short in the Algarve Cup, in which Norway beat Poland in the final.

Yikes. Then factor in Canada, Brazil and Japan. Don’t count out Australia.

And this isn’t a bad thing. We all want the game to grow internationally. Look at the struggles softball has endured because it’s basically a three-country sport (USA, Japan, Australia). No one’s kicking women’s soccer out of the Olympics as they did with softball. The competition’s too good.

The revenue argument: So suppose the WNT and MNT both tie their salaries (WNT) and bonuses (WNT and MNT) to revenue. Looks great for the WNT — now. Suppose the WNT doesn’t make the final in either the World Cup or Olympics over the next two years. That’ll make a dent in revenue, and that’s actually when we’ll want U.S. Soccer to spend more on women’s soccer.

If U.S. Soccer was really as dastardly as people say (and, at times, it has been), they’d say, “Oh, tie it to revenue? Sure!” Then they’d cackle as the revenue drops when 2016 proves not to be a fluke.

As I said in the last post, I don’t have answers here. I just know that yelling “equal pay for equal play” and other slogans won’t solve the problem. It’ll take some serious attention to detail.

So I’ll write these wonky posts. And maybe the handful of you who read them will be able to ask questions and advocate for things to be better — not just with a short-term victory for Jeff Kessler but (also?) a long-term victory for the sport.

us soccer, women's soccer

U.S. women’s soccer team v U.S. Soccer. Please let somebody win

I’ll need to start with disclaimers, for some people in the women’s soccer community have sharp knives and blurred vision, and some people think saying, “Hey, that point you made won’t stand up in court” is the work of a misogynistic craptastic devil in a Belly T-shirt.

So let’s start:

DISCLAIMERS

1. The point of this piece is not to say the U.S. women’s national team shouldn’t be paid more, shouldn’t have fewer games on turf and so forth.

2. Covering women’s soccer is a good way to piss off your editors, and I did it anyway. I was once told to back off WoSo by an editor who was pretty much the opposite of The Patriarchy — she’s a lesbian woman of color. (And a terrific person. I just disagreed with her on this, and I was stubborn enough to shove more WoSo content onto our site anyway. She forgave me because I spent the other 40 hours a week doing what I was supposed to be doing.)

3. They might win. Or at least get a decent settlement. I can’t say definitively because I don’t have all the facts. And neither do you.

I firmly believe, as a journalist or lawyer should (small wonder a lot of journalists go into law), that asking tough questions is the only way to be fair. It stops weak arguments from proceeding. It sharpens strong arguments. So let’s start …

TOUGH QUESTIONS FOR U.S. SOCCER

1. Why haven’t you sorted things out when it comes to paying the women’s national team?

2. No, seriously, why haven’t you sorted this out?

3. Really, why haven’t you sorted this out?

4. Also, can they play a few games on grass?

5. I’ve been told in the past that the WNT gets fewer charter flights because they don’t travel as far. For World Cup qualifying, that’s true. But Jeff Kassouf reported yesterday (tweet below) that the WNT had no charter flights in 2017. So how’d they get to Scandinavia?

6. (From a more arcane realm) Why did you force the girls’ Development Academy upon everyone instead of working with the already established (and popular) ECNL?

7. Does the new CBA include escalator clauses that ensure the WNT will get the same per diems and pay-per-ticket for home friendlies that the MNT gets? (We’re talking about a small amount of money here. You’d think USSF would ensure equality here just to avoid taking a PR hit. But the last CBA had a per-diem escalator that was somehow overlooked. So maybe the question should be: Are you actually going to enforce things this time?)

8. Again, why haven’t you sorted this out?

Some questions have already been asked, and we’ll have to see if USSF lives up to its answers. Exhibit A: The Aloha Stadium fiasco, which Sunil Gulati said wouldn’t happen again. The only way to truly answer that is to demonstrate that it doesn’t happen again.

I can also tell you the USSF answer to half of those questions before I even ask. I can hear the voice in my head: “We just signed a collective bargaining agreement!” But that might not be sufficient legally. I’d defer to lawyers on that one, and I doubt they’ll all agree.

Now …

QUESTIONS FOR BOTH SIDES

1. What’s in the new CBA? I guess we’ll find out sometime in the court filings if this drags on.

2. Why hasn’t anyone enforced the equal-pay clause that Julie Foudy dug out of the 2005 CBA and continued onto subsequent deals? Is that in the new CBA?

To wit:

If in any calendar year, the ratio of aggregate compensation of women’s national team players to the aggregate revenue from all women’s national team games (including all games in U.S. Soccer promoted women’s tournaments) is less than the ratio of the aggregate compensation of the men’s national team players compensation to the aggregate revenue from all men’s national team games (including all games in U.S. Soccer promoted men’s tournaments), then U.S. Soccer will make a lump sum payment to the women’s national team player pool to make the ratios equal. VIX. Additional Payment if Compensation Ratios Change

And Foudy found for something else of interest: “Kessler and Megan Rapinoe did not know the clause existed when I asked them about it.”

(We’ll get to Kessler.) First …

QUESTIONS FOR DRIVE-BY MEDIA PUNDITS

These are directed mostly, but not entirely, at people who don’t regularly cover soccer …

1. When will you get it through your head that this is more complicated than you think? The rest of these questions are related to that …

2. (A complication on “equal pay”) — When will you realize there’s no such thing as “salary” for the men’s national team?

An anointed pool of women’s players gets a base salary plus a salary to play in the NWSL. The men either get called in or not. If not, they’re not paid.

The women have negotiated for that salary many times over the years for one simple reason — stability. The NWSL can’t pay a lot. (Today, you could argue that they could all go to the handful of European teams that pay well, but Lyon can only employ so many people. Still, with England among a number of countries making strides, that might be a more viable option.)

And women’s soccer leagues and clubs have not been models of stability over the years. A steady paycheck from the Federation ensures that women can keep playing the game. In men’s soccer, the clubs ensure that. It’s a rare player who’s established on the men’s national team who doesn’t make decent money playing professionally. Any player who isn’t will get paid when his club contract is re-negotiated.

Men get called in … or not. Women get severance pay. Even Hope Solo.

More trivially, women ask for things men don’t, like maternity leave and child care. (Maybe the men should ask for such things.)

None of this means the women don’t deserve better pay. It means you, fancy-pants drive-by pundit, should do your damn research. Maybe try to compile revenue and pay over a 10-year period. I’ve tried, but it’s difficult to tease such details out of the Fed’s statements. They could always count the Copa Centenario windfall, which accounts for a hefty chunk of the USSF surplus, as “men’s national team.” I hope not, but that’s an extreme example how complicated this is.

A typical excerpt: “Their pay should be the same, without a suit. Period.”

The women have not asked for the same contract as the men. They don’t want it.

You cannot just parachute into this discussion, cite a bunch of stuff about role models and Title IX, and make a coherent argument. Get off your asses, like Andrew Das and Jonathan Tannenwald, and look at the numbers. I doubt it will undermine your underlying argument. It will more likely strengthen it.

3. When will you realize “equal play” is also complicated?

Women’s soccer is not the same as men’s soccer. Not better, not worse. Different.

In women’s soccer, the USA was there from the beginning. In men’s soccer, the USA was there in 1930, then jumped into the abyss for 60 years or so, one glorious day in Belo Horizonte notwithstanding. (See a book scheduled for publication in November. It is mostly about men’s soccer, and it’s a little irreverent. Bwah ha ha ha. Caitlin Murray has women’s history covered.)

The rest of the world is catching up to the USA and Germany in women’s soccer. But Brazil, Japan and the Scandinavian countries, though, may have taken a few steps backwards. We have more teams capable of winning a world title, and that’s why everyone’s looking forward to this summer, but that’s a recent development.

In women’s soccer, few teams in the Western Hemisphere can challenge the USA. Only Canada and Brazil have done so consistently. Mexico forced the USA to scramble to qualify for the 2011 World Cup, but that’s an aberration.

There’s no equivalent of the MNT going to Central America for World Cup qualifiers and dodging batteries and urine. The WNT goes on feel-good tours at home. It’s not the same game.

NONE OF THIS MEANS THE WOMEN DON’T DESERVE BETTER. The next thing that should change is FIFA’s bonus money is different, and that needs to change, and maybe U.S. Soccer can and should take a leadership role in changing it. (If not for altruism, then maybe because it will make paying the WNT bonuses a little easier.) The Women’s World Cup prize pool is up to $30 million. For men, it’s $400 million.

Feel free to write about that. The research is easier.

QUESTIONS FOR … SOMEONE?

1. Huh?

From Michael McCann at the browser-crashing SI site.:

For instance, the complaint charges that “if each team played 20 friendlies in a year and each team won all 20 friendlies, female WNT players would earn a maximum of $99,000 or $4,950 per game, while similarly situated male MNT players would earn an average of $263,320 or $13,166 per game against the various levels of competition they would face.”

How often do teams play 20 friendlies?

Beyond that, I have a few questions …

2. Did the USWNTPA statement strike anyone else as tepid?

They didn’t say they supported the suit. They said they supported the goal. If they support the suit itself, they might want to issue a clarification. As it stands, it reads to me like they’d rather be negotiating that suing, though a lawsuit may be what it takes to re-open negotiation after the players just recently agreed to a new deal.

3. Is tying compensation to revenue a good idea?

At first glance, I thought the idea of the MNT players and WNT players both agreeing to do so was intriguing. But I got this response.

This is way out of my area of expertise. I’d be interested to hear other takes.

4. Why did they hire Jeffrey Kessler?

I don’t mean to keep harping on this. In most realms, he’s terrific, and he consistently fights for athletes’ rights. He’s not just Tom Brady’s lawyer. He’s Caster Semenya’s, and he’s not getting rich off that.

But he struggles in soccer. He was partially involved in the U.S. women’s legal standoff of 2016, which has to be viewed in hindsight as a loss. He’s also involved in the NASL’s lawsuit against U.S. Soccer et al, which I’d doubt will succeed unless the prolonged discovery period turns up a concerted effort to sabotage the league out of spite rather than simply failing to give it a second, third, fourth or fifth chance to gets it house in order.

And he represented MLS players against MLS, which didn’t go so well.

I’ve made reference to some of the transcripts before. He keeps coming up, though, so I’m simply going to paste them here. This is all Kessler interrogating Sunil Gulati. Maybe Gulati could be interrogated on many things, but you wouldn’t think the fact that the Premier League is a level above what was then called the First Division (now the Championship) would be one of them. The transcript was once housed in multiple places but now, to my knowledge, is only available at kenn.com. (I obtained some other transcripts from the case, but they’re less interesting.)

Here we go …

17     Q   And you testified in this case when I questioned you to
18     identify players who went to Division I leagues, you
19     identified both the English Premier League and the first
20     division of England, correct?
21     A   I don't have the testimony in front of me, but ...
22     Q   Okay.  Let's look at it.
23                   MR. KESSLER:  Let's look at Page 1652 of the
24     transcript, if we could put it on.
25     Q   And if you could take a look, it says:

                                                                        2191
                                  - GULATI -

 1
 2              "If you could take a look, Mr. Gulati, at Page 274?
 3              "Mr. Kessler:  If we could display that, please.
 4              "And the question on Line 14 was:  'As a general
 5     proposition, are there many Americans in any of the
 6     Division I foreign leagues?'
 7              "Do you see that, sir, that question?
 8              "Yes.
 9              "And then it says.
10              "ANSWER:  There are a number.
11              "I have think you meant to say in Division I
12     foreign leagues.  There are currently two in Holland that I
13     know of.  One in the English Premier League, and one in
14     the First Division.  At least two in Germany, maybe as many
15     as four."
16              And then I said:
17              "So you were identifying here in response to the
18     question about Americans in any of the Division I foreign
19     leagues both the English Premier Division League and
20     the First Division, correct?"
21              You answered:
22              "That's correct."
23                   MR. ROBBINS:  Excuse me, your Honor, I ask
24     that he continue on with the testimony for completeness, in
25     the interest of completeness and fairness.

                                                                        2192
                                  - GULATI -

 1                   THE COURT:  All right.
 2                   MR. KESSLER:  Okay.
 3     Q   "And does that refresh your recollection that you have
 4     always considered these two leagues in England to be
 5     Division I leagues?
 6              "I don't refer to them that way.  I see what I've
 7     said there.
 8              "What I'm talking about and when I talk about the
 9     Premier League, I talk about the first division.
10              "QUESTION:  Those two leagues compete with each
11     other for players in England, correct?
12              "Some cases, yes."
13                   MR. KESSLER:  Would you like me to read any
14     more?
15                   MR. ROBBINS:  I don't care if you read the
16     middle, but go down to the paragraph -- I'm sorry, Line 19.
17                   MR. KESSLER:  Your Honor, I mean, I think I've
18     read for completeness.
19                   THE COURT:  It's the same topic.  Go ahead,
20     Line 19.
21                   MR. KESSLER:  Okay.
22     Q   "In fact, there was some discussion about teams move up
23     and down from the Premier League to the First Division,
24     right?
25              "They never move up to the First Division from the

                                                                        2193
                                  - GULATI -

 1     Premier, but they move from the First Division up to the
 2     Premier League and down from the Premier League, yes.
 3              "Okay.  Okay.
 4              "Now, so if a team is in the Premier League and is
 5     signing players one year, and the next year they're in
 6     the First Division, okay, they have the same players, right?
 7     Their players didn't change, correct?
 8              "A team goes from the Premier Division to the First
 9     Division, is relegated, is the language we use.
10              "Right."
11                   MR. KESSLER:  Keep going?
12                   MR. ROBBINS:  That's okay.
13                   MR. KESSLER:  No, let's see what he said after
14     that.  Keep going.
15     Q   "And they all have the same players?
16              "Well, the same players who are still in the
17     contract.  They don't change the players, right?"
18              Now, Mr. Gulati.  Let's talk about that.
19              In fact, when you're not coached by your counsel --
20                   MR. CARDOZO:  Objection, your Honor.
21     Q   -- you routinely --
22                   THE COURT:  Sustained.
23     Q   Okay.
24                   THE COURT:  Mr. Kessler.
25                   MR. KESSLER:  Okay.

                                                                        2194
                                  - GULATI -

 1                   MR. CARDOZO:  May we approach, your Honor?
 2                   THE COURT:  No, we don't need comments like
 3     that.
 4                   MR. KESSLER:  Okay.  Your Honor, I won't make
 5     a characterization.
 6     Q   Before you came and made this change, did you discuss
 7     that fact with your counsel at the break?
 8     A   Yes.
 9     Q   Okay.
10              So before that discussion, you identified them both
11     as being Division I leagues in Scotland and in South Africa,
12     correct?
13     A   The equivalent of a typo, Mr. Kessler.  I was going
14     through the list very quickly, and at the end of the list,
15     being concerned about time, I went through it very quickly,
16     just as I might on a given day if I had a hundred of them in
17     front of me say that eight times eight was not 64.  I know
18     it's 64.
19     Q   Well, it's interesting, Mr. Gulati, because the typo you
20     made -- did you make any other typos in this chart when you
21     were filling out the ones and the twos and the threes?
22              Were there any other typos?
23     A   I have to look at it right now.
24     Q   Are there any?
25     A   I can't see it from here.

                                                                        2195
                                  - GULATI -

 1     Q   Well, see, all the others you just copied what was
 2     written next to it; isn't that correct?
 3              Like here it says Hungarian Division I, and you
 4     wrote a one next to it.  But on these, there was, like, no
 5     guidance, so you wrote something else, right?
 6     A   That's not correct.
 7     Q   Okay.
 8              When I questioned you at your deposition and I
 9     questioned you in court where you identified the Premier
10     League as Division I, was that a typo?
11     A   When I identified the Premier League as Division I, no.
12     Q   No, when you identified the First Division as
13     Division I, was that a typo?
14     A   And corrected it within 15 seconds thereafter.
15     Q   Okay.
16              So that was a misspeaking?  That's different from a
17     typo?
18                   MR. CARDOZO:  Objection, your Honor.  I think
19     we're starting to argue.
20                   THE COURT:  Sustained.  Sustained.
21     Q   Okay.
22              Mr. Gulati, you helped Professor Klein put together
23     his charts, correct?  We talked about that?
24     A   Some of the time.
25     Q   And, in fact, when Professor Klein first gave his charts

                                                                        2196
                                  - GULATI -

 1     to us, it said, did you know this, that the First Division
 2     was a Division I in England?
 3              Was that a typo, too, that you did?
 4     A   I don't know what charts Mr. Klein gave you.
 5     Q   Okay.  We'll go through that tomorrow.
 6              Now, Mr. Gulati, in those foreign countries where
 7     you have a Premier League and a first division -- let's go
 8     through the history.
 9              You testified with Mr. Cardozo that the First
10     Division changed its name to the Premier League and the
11     Second Division changed its name to the First Division.
12              That's not true, is it?
13     A   That's not what I said.
14     Q   Oh, it's not what you said?
15     A   Most of the teams --
16                   MR. CARDOZO:  Objection, your Honor.  I have a
17     sense here we're characterizing, we have facial expressions,
18     and the witness is being treated improperly.
19              I object.
20                   MR. KESSLER:  We'll go back -- okay.  We've
21     got your testimony.
22                   MR. CARDOZO:  I'd like the judge to rule on my
23     objection.
24                   THE COURT:  Well, you don't need extraneous
25     comments.  Let's just get to the questions, and it will be

                                                                        2197
                                  - GULATI -

 1     more efficient.
 2                   MR. KESSLER:  Okay.
 3     Q   Mr. Gulati, you don't recall now -- because we're going
 4     to get it up because we have it on Livenote, fortunately --
 5     you don't recall testifying with Mr. Cardozo that you
 6     testified that the First Division changed its name to the
 7     Premier League and that the Second Division changed its name
 8     to Division I?
 9              You don't recall that testimony maybe 25, 30
10     minutes ago?
11     A   No.  It's now different than what you just said 30
12     seconds ago.  What I said was the First Division became the
13     Premier League, that most of those teams became part of the
14     Premier League.
15     Q   Listen to my question, please, Mr. Gulati.
16              Do you recall testifying maybe 25 or 30 minutes
17     ago -- I think the jury recalls -- that the First Division
18     changed its name to the Premier League and the Second
19     Division changed its name to the First Division?
20              Do you recall saying that with Mr. Cardozo?
21     A   I don't know if those are the exact words, but something
22     like that, yes.
23     Q   Okay.
24              And now tell the jury, is it a lie or is it true
25     that they changed their names?

                                                                        2198
                                  - GULATI -

 1     A   They became -- they became -- they changed their name,
 2     but they became the First Division.  Most of the teams, as I
 3     also said 25 minutes ago, became part of the First Division.
 4     Q   Okay.
 5              Did they change their names?  Just focus on that.
 6     A   I believe the answer is yes.
 7     Q   Okay.  You think that's yes.  Let's focus on what
 8     happened.
 9              Before there was a Premier League, there was
10     something called the First Division, right?
11     A   That's correct.
12     Q   Okay.
13              And then there were about 32 teams in the First
14     Division, right?
15     A   I don't know the number that were there, but there
16     was -- there was a number of teams in the Premier League.
17     Q   And at that moment, all of those teams you would
18     call First Division?
19              There was no Premier League, right?  That was the
20     highest division?
21     A   All of the teams that were in that division were part of
22     the First Division, yes.
23     Q   And those teams were some of the best teams in the world
24     at that time, right, before the Premier League?
25     A   Some of them, yes.

                                                                        2199
                                  - GULATI -

 1     Q   Okay.
 2              And then what happened is some of those teams left
 3     the First Division and formed a whole new organization
 4     called the Premier League; isn't that correct?
 5     A   Some of those teams became part of the Premier League,
 6     that's right.
 7     Q   And there was no changing of names.
 8              Some of the teams left the First Division, and they
 9     became a different league, about 16 of the 32, right?
10     A   I don't remember if it was 16, but, yes.
11     Q   Okay.
12              And the 16 teams who a moment before the Premier
13     League were First Division, they didn't change their name?
14              They stayed the First Division, right?
15     A   They -- the bigger and better teams, in most cases,
16     became the Premier team.
17     Q   Okay.
18     A   Not a --
19     Q   You have to --
20                   MR. CARDOZO:  Wait a minute.
21                   MR. KESSLER:  Objection.  It's not responsive
22     your Honor.
23                   THE COURT:  Go ahead.
24     A   Became the Premier Division.  The other teams became
25     what continued or changed their name or however you want to

                                                                        2200
                                  - GULATI -

 1     characterize it, part of First Division in this reformatted
 2     league.
 3     Q   Okay.  I'll try to ask the question very slowly.
 4              The teams who stayed in the First Division, about
 5     half that league, that league didn't change its name.
 6              It stayed the First Division, right?
 7     A   I don't know if it was -- I mean, some of these teams
 8     became part of the Premier League.  Some of them were part
 9     of the First Division.
10     Q   The league never changed its name.  No league ever
11     changed its name in England, right?
12     A   We had a league that started that became the Premier
13     League.
14     Q   Mr. Gulati, you believe that the First Division League
15     changed its name to the Premier League?
16              That's what you believe?
17     A   No, that a lot of the teams, as I said earlier, became
18     part of the Premier League.
19     Q   Okay.
20              And no league ever changed its name, correct?
21     A   No, that's -- we've had a number of leagues in the
22     English league that have changed their league name by having
23     a sponsor affiliated with it and so on.
24              And this -- let me finish.
25              In this characterization, I'm not sure if they

                                                                        2201
                                  - GULATI -

 1     changed when those 12 or 14 or 16 teams were left or not, in
 2     that framework that you've just outlined the question.
 3     Q   Right.
 4              And, in fact, the Second Division in England never
 5     changed its name to the First Division, right?
 6              The league?
 7     A   You characterize it that way, that's correct.
 8     Q   Thank you.
 9              What happened was there was a First Division League
10     of 32 teams.  Sixteen of them became a new league called the
11     Premier League, and the other 16 teams, which were
12     still first division, called themselves still the First
13     Division, right?
14              There's nothing complicated about that?
15     A   Not all 16, but some of them, yes.
16     Q   Okay.
17              And what happens between those two leagues is that
18     the teams move up to the Premier League sometimes and then
19     they move down to the First Division, right?
20     A   There is relegation and promotion, yes.
21     Q   Right.
22              And so all of these teams in the First Division in
23     the Premier League are, if we were going to look at it in a
24     broader sense, major league teams that move from one league
25     to the other, right?

                                                                        2202
                                  - GULATI -

 1     A   There are teams that move between the first and the
 2     second and the second and the third as well.
 3     Q   Right.
 4              Like normal minor leagues.  Let's talk about
 5     baseball.  You know about baseball, minor leagues?
 6                   MR. CARDOZO:  Objection, your Honor.
 7                   THE COURT:  Sustained.  And we're at
 8     1 o'clock.  I think we better break for the day.
 9                   MR. KESSLER:  Okay, your Honor.  That's fine.
10                   THE COURT:  Jurors, we have a slight schedule
11     change.  We've going to start a little bit later tomorrow.
12     We'll start about 10 o'clock, okay?

So here’s what happened next

page 2215

 1   W_}Z^
 2   
 3   z
 4   z]
 5   .zZzV
 6   z
 7   o{UPR today is Friday the thinker TAO*EPBT.  Thirteenth not yet?  
 8   Why.?.  (.  Today is Friday, the 13th., of October.  Spooky 
 9   spooky
10                  MR. CARDOZO:  Goer good morning, your Honor.
11                  MR. KESSLER:  Good morning, your Honor.
12                  THE COURT:  Good morning.
13                  MR. CARDOZO:  Your Honor, I hope you had a 
14    chance to look at the letter I --
15                  THE COURT:  Barely.  That's why I'm -- 
16    my first question is is this something that we have to do 
17    before we resume with the jury?
18                  MR. CARDOZO:  Yes, your Honor.
19             , and I raise this point with great reluctance and 
20    I have thought about it a lot before I did this.  And I've 
21    never done this before in my professional career.
22             I believe that Mr. Kessler must be this morning 
23    before the jury publicly sanctioned because he committed 
24    yesterday a blatant violation of what in Massachusetts is 
25    Rule 3.4E of the Massachusetts rules of professional conduct 

page 2216

 1    with a parallel provision in New York.
 2             Because that rule prohibits a lawyer from alluding 
 3    to any matter that will not be supported by admissible 
 4    evidence and from stating a personal opinion as to the 
 5    credibility of the witness.
 6             If you turn to Page 2 of my letter, your Honor, and 
 7    the indented paragraph, which I'm sure you recall the 
 8    substance of, Mr. Kessler said to Mr. Gulati:  "is it a lie 
 9    or is it true that they changed their names," referring to 
10    the first division, the Premier League issue.
11             And he also said, as referred to on the bottom of 
12    the page.  Of my letter, "there were about 32 teams in 
13    the first division.  There was no changing of names, and so 
14    on.
15             And then he made a factual assertion in the form of 
16    a question:
17             "what happened was there was a First Division 
18    League of 32 teams, 16 of them became a new league called 
19    the Premier League, and the other 16 teams, which were 
20    still first division, call themselves still the first  first 
21    division."
22             Your Honor, Mr. Kessler had absolutely, absolutely 
23    no factual bay sis for making that assertion.  It was an 
24    
25    absolute violation of the Massachusetts rule prohibiting an 

page 2217

 1    allusion to any matter that will not be supported by 
 2    admissible evidence.
 3             Now, I understand that obviously when it comes to 
 4    be our turn, three or four or five weeks from now, I can 
 5    call a witness to establish that.  But the damage has 
 6    already been done to Mr. Gulati's credibility.
 7             We stayed up all night and we received about four 
 8    or 5 o'clock this morning an affidavit from the head of the 
 9    
10    English football association, which is attached as exhibit 
11    C, which PHA*EUBGS which makes the point crystal clear, and I believe under 
12    the circumstances, your Honor, where Mr. Kessler 
13    deliberately sought to call the witness a liar, to make a 
14    factual assertion which he knew to be blatantly false, that 
15    we cannot be prejudiced by waiting six weeks in order to 
16    correct that.
17             What has to be done, I respectfully submit, your
18    Honor, is that Mr. Kessler has to be publicly admonished 
19    before the jury; the correct facts, which Mr. Gulati recited 
20    in response to my questions before Mr. Kessler started bee 
21    raiding him yesterday with false assertions, the correct 
22    facts have to be told to the jury this morning before the 
23    witness resumes the cross-examination; and Mr. Kessler 
24    should be admonished not to do this in the future.
25                  THE COURT:  Mr. Kessler.

page 2218

 1                  MR. KESSLER:  You know, your Honor, I've been 
 2    practicing over 20 years.  I have never before been accused 
 3    of a violation of any cat any efforts in any state or 
 4    federal court.
 5             I am astounded that Mr. Cardozo would make that 
 6    allegations.  I've known him a long time.  He didn't pick up 
 7    the phone last night or say anything to me.  He didn't ask 
 8    me what was my basis for the questions or anything else.
 9             Instead, I walk in this morning, I get served with 
10    this paper as we're coming in, not even the night before.  
11    I'm not even in a position your Honor this morning since I 
12    don't have the person here, Mr. Young, who gathered the 
13    information for me about the Premier League, upon which I 
14    based my questions, which he did from looking at Internet 
15    sites and other sources and made phone calls to people at 
16    the Premier League asking questions, all of which 
17    information he gave me to give me a basis for asking the 
18    question, a reasonable basis.
19             Now, I'm presented, sight unseen, with an affidavit 
20    from a witness who I don't know, who I can't 
21    cross-examination.  I'm being accused, like it's the star 
22    chamber, you know, right now, your Honor should decide I 
23    committed an unethical violation and tell the jury what I'm 
24    not even in a position to present to you the basis of my 
25    questions, I'm not in a position to cross-examination this 

page 2219

 1    witness (when) it's unbelievable.
 2             Now, your Honor, that is trial.  If I made a 
 3    misstatement, okay, and, your Honor, in 20 years, it won't 
 4    be the first fact that I was proven wrong or right about, 
 5    okay, and I'm not representing to your Honor at this 
 6    moment -- he's presented an affidavit.  This is the first 
 7    time I've heard before that witness about this changing the 
 8    name.
 9             If this testimony is truthful, then he -- the 
10    affidavit he presented, then he may be right and I may be 
11    wrong and I'll prove it to the jury, as there are about 
12    thousands of subfacts in this case, many of whom I expect to 
13    prove Mr. Cardozo has been completely wrong.  I'm not 
14    accusing him of unethical violations, despite the fact that 
15    I think he's wrong about many, many things.
16             So, your Honor, I think the idea that you would 
17    consider some type of ethical thing without my being able to 
18    present the basis or cross-examination this witness or 
19    anything else is just beyond the pale.
20             Having said that, your Honor, having said that,
21    your Honor, okay, you know, he's presented this affidavit, 
22    you know, with respect to the changing of the name.  He 
23    says -- and, you know, I have no problem -- in fact, I had 
24    already told my colleagues when doing this that I was going 
25    to indicate to the witness during my examination that I had 

page 2220

 1    been presented with some evidence suggesting that maybe the 
 2    league of the names was chosen and that I wanted to less the 
 3    witness know that, is that correct, and tell him if that's 
 4    wrong, I apologize to him.
 5             But to come up and ask for an ethical violation 
 6    when he had bee sees and I believed it to be true in good 
 7    faith and Mr. Cardozo nose me better than that -- and I 
 8    don't know if it's true or not but I'm willing to give him 
 9    the benefit of the doubt and this afew yant that he wouldn't 
10    give me with the basis that I had.
11                  MR. CARDOZO:  Your Honor to suggest that at 
12    5 o'clock in the morning I should have called Mr. Kessler is 
13    ridiculous.
14                  THE COURT:  Well, I --
15                  THE COURT:  It's a serious allegations or 
16    charge or accusation, so I'm going to give him a chance to 
17    respond to it.  There are two issues.  One is the ethical 
18    issue.  The other is it's simply an evidentiary issue and 
19    putting aside the ethical question, there is still an 
20    evidentiary problem when evidence is suggested that is -- 
21    for which there's no foundation, whether it's intentional al or  or 
22    accidental or good faith, whatever.  There's still a problem 
23    that the jury hears something for which there is no 
24    admissible evidence sto support it.
25                  MR. KESSLER:  And, your Honor, I would propose 

page 2221

 1    to cure that in my questions.
 2                  MR. CARDOZO:  Your Honor, I --
 3                  THE COURT:  Well --
 4                  MR. CARDOZO:  I believe -- I understand if you 
 5    want to reserve decision on --
 6                  THE COURT:  Well, I think he's entitled to if, 
 7    as he says, he had a basis for believing that it was true, 
 8    then I think he ought to be entitled to say that and we'll 
 9    he evaluate that along with whatever you have here and that 
10    goes to the more serious problem.
11             The evidentiary problem is one that perhaps, as 
12    Mr.S can Kessler says, he has a way of curing.  I don't 
13    know.
14             But I don't think anything is going to happen irref 
15    cabbly with the witness this morning that can't be added to, 
16    supplemented, corrected, after an opportunity to hear 
17    further from the witness.
18             (Counsel conferred.)
19                  MR. CARDOZO:  I respectfully suggest, your
20    Honor, the damage has already been done.  I don't want to 
21    wait until Mr. Kessler decides how he wants to elicit this 
22    information.
23             I would respectfully suggest that the first order 
24    of bus this morning (business this morning should be to 
25    allow me to elicit from Mr. Gulati what he standards the 

page 2222

 1    facts to be because to let Mr. Kessler do this when he still 
 2    can't stand up and -- forget the ethical issue.  He still 
 3    cannot represent to you he had any basis.  I can't wait 
 4    three hours or four hours or '2 days.
 5                  THE COURT:  I don't think the timing is that 
 6    critical.  The jury is not -- the jury is hearing a lot of 
 7    stuff over weeks and weeks and weeks.  An hour or two is not 
 8    going to make a difference.
 9                  MR. CARDOZO:  Your Honor, I would respectfully 
10    request that Mr. Gulati either be asked by you, if not not 
11    me, what he understands the facts to be.
12             I think I am severely prejudiced if I simply have 
13    to wait for Mr. Kessler --
14                  THE COURT:  Well, let me make -- no.  I think 
15    it may be appropriate for Mr. Kessler to do it, but maybe we 
16    
17    can suggest a Kessler that Mr. Kessler ought to ask, and 
18    here is a suggestion, which would call for hearsay evidence 
19    as to which Mr. Kessler might not press an objection.
20             That is, to ask the witness whether he has 
21    information from the English leagues as to how it came 
22    about.  He could give that answer.  I don't know.  That's a 
23    possibility.  He could give the substance of --
24                  MR. KESSLER:  Your Honor, again, I don't know 
25    whether it's even true or not but I'm willing to do that 

page 2223

 1    because I don't like being accused of these things, and I've 
 2    been presented with this for the first time this morning, 
 3    
 4    and I can tell your Honor I would never go into court and 
 5    ask any question that I didn't believe I had a basis for.
 6             Sometimes I'm wrong.  I assume Mr. Cardozo has 
 7    sometimes been wrong.
 8                  MR. ROBBINS:  If I can just make a suggestion 
 9    your Honor.  I think an appropriate way to do it in light of 
10    yurch's indication is that the first question Mr. Kessler 
11    asks of Mr. Gulati is at the close of the day we were 
12    discussing the English Premier League, the change of names.
13                  THE COURT:  Right.
14                  MR. ROBBINS:  Is there something you'd like to 
15    explain to the jury.  I think that would be the fair way to 
16    do it.
17                  THE COURT:  Right.  Ask him whether he's made 
18    inquiry about that overnight.  That would technically be 
19    hearsay but in the absence of an objection it could be 
20    admitted.
21                  MR. KESSLER:  Your Honor, I don't have any 
22    problem with doing that.
23                  THE COURT:  All right.

Kessler did follow through and allow Gulati to confirm that, yes, the Premier League is the top tier and the First Division is second.

 7    REDIRECT EXAMINATION
 8   
 9   BY MR. KESSLER
10                  THE CLERK:  I'd like to remine the witness 
11    that he is still under oath.  Please be seat the.
12                  MR. KESSLER:  May I proceed, your Honor?
13                  THE COURT:  Please.
14    Q   Good morning, Mr. Gulati?
15    A   Good morning.
16    Q   Mr. Gulati, there was a point yesterday that we 
17    discussed in your examination which I'd like to give you a 
18    chance to clear up because I want to make sure that I didn't 
19    say something that I misspoke about something, and that has 
20    to do with the naming of the Premier League.
21             Is there something you learned about that that 
22    you'd like to tell the jury or explain?
23    A   I learned that what I had said to Mr. Cardozo yesterday 
24    was correct, that virtually all of your comments about how 
25    the Premier League was formed and the number of teams and 

page 2227

 1    the renaming were all, in fact, absolutely incorrect.
 2    Q   Okay.
 3             The Premier League did rechange its name?  That's 
 4    what you learned?
 5    A   And that the first division had been previously the 
 6    second division and so on.
 7             So everything I said to Mr. Cardozo was correct.
 8    Q   Okay?
 9    A   And all of the questions and issues that you raised at 
10    the end of the day were, in fact, wrong.
11    Q   Okay.  Mr. Gulati if, that's true, I want to apologize 
12    to you because we got a little sidetracked on the Premier 
13    League and I want the jury to get every fact exactly 
14    correct, okay?
15             Let's talk about the Premier League.
16             It is true that the Premier League and the first 
17    division have teams that change each year.  Some teams going 
18    G. to the Premier League, some go to the first division,
19    correct?
20    A   That's correct.
21    Q   Okay.
22             And it is true that those two leagues, in effect, 
23    as you've testified before, compete with each other for 
24    players, correct?
25    A   Some players, yes.

And then compared the Premier League and First Division to the NFL and AFL of the 1960s. Then apologized to Gulati.

 
 9    Q   Okay.
10             And the first division is comparable, we just said, 
11    in quality, at least torques league to Major League Soccer, 
12    right?
13    A   That's correct.
14    Q   So if we're defining some major league level, then both 
15    Major League Soccer and the first division of England would 
16    have to be in that major league level, right?
17    A   If you're defining major league in that way, that would 
18    be correct.
19    Q   Right.
20             And the Premier League might be even a better 
21    quality than that, right?
22    A   The Premier League is the top division in England, yes.
23    Q   So, for example, when the A*FL and NFL both existed if 
24    football originally, the NFL might have been better than the 
25    A*FL, but they were both competing major leagues, right?

page 2230

 1                  MR. CARDOZO:  Objection.
 2    A   I don't know that they were both --
 3                  THE COURT:  Wait a minute.  Wait a minute.
 4                  MR. KESSLER:  Sorry --
 5                  THE COURT:  
 6                  MR. KESSLER:  I'm sorry, did you sustain the 
 7    objection?
 8                  THE COURT:  I'm thinking about it.
 9                  MR. KESSLER:  I'm sorry.
10                  THE COURT:  Go ahead, you may answer.
11                  MR. KESSLER:  Thank you, your Honor.
12    A   I don't know at what time we're talking about.  
13    Certainly from the little I know, when the A*FL started, 
14    they weren't considered a major league in that sense of the 
15    word, and I don't know that in football they use major 
16    league like that.
17    Q   Okay.
18    Q   Now, let's turn to another subject., and, again, 
19    Mr. Gulati, on the naming issue I want to apologize to you, 
20    okay?
21    A   I accept your apology.
22    Q   Thank you.

I would just love for someone in soccer to explain to me why he keeps getting hired for soccer cases.

And again — the U.S. women probably have a better case than the MLS players did. MLS players endured some shoddy treatment in the early days, but that didn’t give them a good legal case, and they really should’ve settled once Judge George O’Toole kicked the guts out of it in April 2000. (Scroll to “On April 19, 2000” here.) The U.S. women might be able to win no matter who’s representing them. But it might help if they had someone sit down and explain the realities of soccer to Kessler so he doesn’t make any costly mistakes.

Repeating the disclaimers:

1. Jeff Kessler does a lot of good.

2. U.S. Soccer has done a lot of good (compared with, say, Brazil and, until a few years ago, England) but also some things that make us face-palm.

3. While we don’t know what’s in the new CBA, no rational person would object to the WNT getting a big bump in salaries AND bonuses given the USSF surplus. The fact that the world is catching up is actually a good reason to spend more, not less.

And finally: The lawsuit may be a good idea.

In the meantime, question everything and demand more. (Maybe except from those of us who are doing this for free.)

pro soccer, us soccer

That time MLS (and many others) was sued for $50 million

A bit of hilarity from the California court system …

In 2014, one James C. Maxey sued Major League Soccer, alleging a conspiracy that involved “John Does 1-1999.” It’s hard to say exactly what Maxey claimed MLS did. He says he was injured on Sept. 11, 2001, and that the injuries were caused by “George W. Bush and associates affiliated with Queen Elizabeth II, English Football Association, English Premier League, United States Soccer Federation, Republican Party, Kevin Campbell, Phillip Wright, Gary Messing, Jerry Zanelli and Peter Reynand.”

There are some wild Sept. 11 conspiracies out there, but it’s hard to imagine one that includes Zanelli, who founded the WPSL. (He passed away in 2018.)

Two months later, a California judge dismissed that complaint, along with various other complaints from Mr. Maxey against Mitch McConnell, Barack Obama, John Boehner, several Republican Party county offices, John Ashcroft, a fire department, Mitt Romney, John McCain, James Comey, the National Labor Relations Board, “Michael” Platini, Sepp Blatter, Costco, Hillary Clinton and … Cy Curnin? The lead singer of The Fixx?

In between the filing and the dismissal, another judge noted the following paragraph recurred in each suit: “The plaintiff, James C. Maxey, suffered injury due to the actions of the [space provided for plaintiff to inserts the names of individuals or companies] on, or about [space where plaintiff inserts a date]. The plaintiff’s injuries were caused by [blank space where plaintiff identifies different parties or companies] associates affiliated [another blank space].”

Here’s the complaint in its entirety:

https://www.scribd.com/document/396870455/Funny-Mls-Suit

cycling

Cycling vs. Floyd Landis: Can Swiss court really tell him what to say?

Guess which of the following Floyd Landis is explicitly forbidden to say about the UCI (cycling’s international federation), Pat McQuaid and Hein Verbruggen, according to a Swiss court ruling (pardon the profanity):

  1. They’ve taken bribes.
  2. They delayed publication of a positive test by Alberto Contador.
  3. They burned LiveStrong bracelets at a cocktail party.
  4. They concealed doping cases.
  5. They’re terrorists.
  6. They’re just like Gaddafi.
  7. They’re responsible for the international economy crashing.
  8. They’re bigger than Jesus.
  9. They load the dice.
  10. They stack the deck.
  11. They’re full of shit.
  12. They have no regard for the rules.

Correct answer: All but 3, 7, 8 and 10. See the ruling for yourself.

Now guess where Landis has to publish a retraction of claims against the UCI and others at his own expense — it doesn’t specify standard ad rate or advertorial deal.

  1. The Wall Street Journal
  2. USA TODAY
  3. The Onion
  4. L’Equipe
  5. Le Temps (Switzerland)
  6. NYVelocity.com
  7. Velo News
  8. Cycling News
  9. De Volksrant (Netherlands)
  10. Velonation

Correct answer: All but USA TODAY and The Onion.

We’d need a lawyer to tell us if, say, NYVelocity.com is compelled to take a Landis retraction. That’s not an idle question. NYVelocity is taking up a defense fund for journalist Paul Kimmage, who faces a similar suit in Swiss court.

“But the only cyclist I know is Lance Armstrong,” you say. “What does this mean to him?”

It means that you might want to be careful about accusing the UCI of covering up a positive test for Armstrong. So in a tangential sense, it’s a “win” for Armstrong, but a slight one.

Landis did not contest the case. Kimmage’s case is due in court in December.

Can any lawyers tell us what Switzerland plans to do if Landis decides paying back the “Floyd Fairness Fund” donations are a higher priority than paying for ads in all these publications?