Funniest athlete on Twitter: A baseball player?

I grew up a baseball fan. I am not a baseball fan today. It wasn’t just a case of getting bored with it. I got sick of the phony American exceptionalism mythology behind it. (Doubleday? Yeah, and I race unicorns.) The steroid era bugged me. And I was not impressed with the way Major League Baseball forced Washington into a horrible stadium deal it can’t afford. I’m still rooting for the Nationals … to leave town and give D.C. United that stadium.

It’s a sport with an unwritten “code” that’s even more juvenile than hockey’s. Here, stand in that box while I throw a ball at you. If you charge at me, everyone will clear the benches and act like tough guys. At least hockey players actually drop gloves and square off in a fair fight.

So imagine my surprise when I checked out Brandon McCarthy, the pitcher who was just released from the hospital a few days after needing a frightening line drive to the head forced him into surgery, and found that he is quite possibly the funniest athlete on Twitter.

His second Tweet after cranial surgery:

A day later:

After a nice shoutout from a stadium scoreboard:

And my favorite (not at all because I follow a lot of U.S. women’s national team soccer players on social networks):