I’m optimistic about this season. It might be because they’re bringing bantamweights and featherweights into the mix, two weight classes that haven’t already been scraped of their top talent by several seasons of this show and years of UFC scouting. It might be because Michael Bisping and Jason “Mayhem” Miller have compelling personalities — neither one a true villain but both willing to mix it up verbally. It might be because I’ve outgrown my youthful cynicism.

I also saw the tryouts, and I’m worried about one thing. The most best personality there was John Dodson, a strong flyweight fighter I’ve seen in action before. But we’ve been told that there were some surprises in the preliminary fights (seriously, Dana — have the “wild card” after the prelims, not after the first round), and I didn’t see Dodson in a long preview for the show. The second best personality there was a guy nicknamed “Haggis Basher,” and he didn’t even make the final 32.

Can’t have everything, I suppose. As Steven Wright said, where would you put it?

Off we go …

Big montage, and it’s funny that they have to dig up old footage of Miller, who hasn’t fought under the Zuffa banner in several years.

Vegas sunrise. Vegas montage. And a very cool twist … the prelim bouts are in Mandalay Bay, not the UFC training center. John Dodson is the first guy walking in, and he’s the first guy interviewed. Then green-haired Louis Gaudinot.

Dana White gives some more hype — fans will vote for best fight, best KO and best submission. Bonuses are $25K each. Marcus Brimage is suddenly interested.

Bisping and Miller are introduced. Miller is leaning away from Bisping.

Stretching and prepping. One guy looks like Amir Sadollah. Dodson to the camera: “I’m gonna win. Just watch me.”

Josh Ferguson is here with his brother B.J. I met these guys at the tryouts, too, and yes, they’re a trip.

Fight 1: Josh Ferguson (7-3) vs. Casey Dyer (5-1)

Dyer is excited to finally be here at age 21. Finally? Randy Couture had never even heard of MMA until, what, 31? Ferguson ends it 14 seconds. Miller thinks Dyer looked like Shaun White. I’d say less so than Richie Whitson from a few seasons ago.

Diego Brandao (13-7) vs. Jesse Newell (6-1)

Brandao is from Brazil by way of Albuquerque, which means he must be a Greg Jackson guy. Newell has garish tattoos. Herb Dean is still the ref. The mat is bloody, so they’re clearly showing these out of order. Newell lands a couple of good strikes. Brandao takes him down, which surprises Bisping and White because they’ve been hyping his KO record.  They stand, and Brandao complies with a KO. Big left puts him down, and a forearm on the ground makes it official. The good thing is that it knocks Newell cold so he can’t hear Brandao mouth off.

John Dodson (11-5) vs. Brandon Merkt (11-0)

Dodson beams for the camera again and does some crazy vertical jumps in the cage. Merkt is dull and unbeaten. I think I’m going to cry pretty soon. Dodson starts cautiously. Couple of leg kicks. Nice head kick. Good combo. OK, so Dodson is at least showing something. Merkt tries some kicks that aren’t landing. Then he rushes in, and Dodson catches him. Dodson’s a natural flyweight, though — tiny guy, good technique but not a ton of power. But an ab punch crumples Merkt, combo … Dodson wins!!!! My man!!! TOLD you I was optimistic about this season. If this seems like an upset, based on the records, consider this from Sherdog — Merkt’s opponents have a combined record of 30-56.

White says he’s seen three great guys. Miller says he feels like he should’ve bought a ticket.

Dennis Bermudez (7-2) vs. Jimmie Rivera (8-1)

Bermudez cut short his wrestling career because he got someone pregnant. Or so he was told. She left him after two years. Then he got a paternity test. Not his kid. Rivera mouths a few cliches.

Finally … ad break. Long one. Then back to Vegas, and I’m glad I wrote down the participants’ names. Steve Mazzagatti is our ref, and they’re naming the fight-clock sponsor, so this one must be a long one.

Wait — which guy’s which? OK, Rivera’s the bearded dude. They do some cage dances for a bit, then trade. Rivera lands one that makes Bermudez fall like a tree, but he’s not out. Rivera follows him to the ground and wraps him up. Bermudez stands as Rivera maintains a bodylock. Down again, then Bermudez stands with Rivera draped on him. They look like Pilobolus for about 20 motionless seconds. Bermudez comes back throwing and landing. Rivera also lands and briefly flings Bermudez down, then takes his back again. We’re repeating — Rivera’s draped on him but not really getting close to the submission. Someone’s yelling at Rivera to, you know, hit him or something. White says he’s going to hate to see one of these guys leave. He’ll get to see more because Rivera can’t sink in the rear naked choke.

Round 2: Rivera slips, and Bermudez tries to pounce. He manages to drape himself over Rivera for a change. Now you can hear every direction from Bermudez’s corner. He gets his hooks in and starts pounding Rivera’s ears. Rivera is desperately trying to get out the backdoor, but the hooks are tight. Mazzagatti yells to Rivera to fight out of it. Can’t. It’s over.

Miller says it’s a case of the guy with the beach muscles getting tired.

BJ Ferguson (6-2) vs. Roland Delorme (6-2)

Josh says BJ hits harder than he does. As usual, the more boring guy comes out second. Josh Rosenthal is the ref, and off we go. Ferguson lands a right, but Delorme grabs a guillotine choke that makes BJ stop. He wriggles out and lands in side control on top of Delorme, but he can’t hold it. BJ strikes; Delorme counters. Delorme gets a nasty armlock while they’re standing and maintains it as they go to the ground. BJ tries to work his way out, but Delorme just shifts into different holds until he gets the tap.

“All the wrestlers in the house, you’d better be careful,” Delorme says.

Marcus Brimage (3-1) vs. Bryson Wailehua-Hansen (5-1)

Brimage is full of confidence. Bryson says you have to fight if you’re from Hawaii. Wonder if Obama knows that.

Ad break … YES! Beavis and Butthead ad.

Brimage is throwing LOUD punches. Does he have microphones in his gloves? Bryson grabs a leg but can’t get the takedown at first. He sticks with it, gets a bodylock and gets a small slam. Brimage tries to get up and ends up in a guillotine. He gets free, and they do one of those mesmerizing scrambles that make lighter-weight fights so much fun to watch and so impossible to judge. Brimage gives up his back and lets Bryson get a hook. Then another hook. Brimage somehow flings solid punches backwards at Bryson’s face, but there’s a look of panic in his face. Bryson wraps his arm around Brimage’s neck, and Brimage throws more punches. Somehow, Brimage, manages to reverse himself. Then he unloads with Bryson pressed into the cage. In the center — Brimage head kick and another combo. Bryson’s staggering and getting tagged. Brimage finishes the round landing combos that look like Clubber Lang vs. Rocky Balboa, round 1.

Round 2: Brimage lands so many consecutive punches that Steve Mazzagatti stops the fight while they’re still standing. Not sure I’ve ever seen that, but Bryson doesn’t even complain. How he’s standing is a mystery.

Carson Beebe (6-1) vs. Johnny Bedford (17-9-1)

Beebe is fighting to get out of the shadow of his big brother, Chase, a former WEC champion. Bedford notes Beebe’s big name but says he has 35 fights and won’t be easy to get out of there.

After the ad break, Mazzagatti gets us started. Bedford immediately gets a body lock and takedown. Beebe calmly works his way up and presses Bedford to the cage. Good Bedford uppercut. Bedford has a tattoo around the side of his body that looks like ARMY from the front but is actually ONE MAN ARMY when you see his whole right side. They trade blows, and Bedford gets Beebe down again. Beebe establishes guard and gets a good-looking guillotine. Bedford stands and gets free, then lands a good body kick.Good left from Beebe. Bedford lands uppercut again and follows with knee to the body. Against cage — big Bedford right, big knee to the body. A right staggers Beebe, and Bedford gets a choke that forces a quick tap.

Miller says Bedford rolled over a highly touted contender.

Dustin Pague (10-4) vs. Tateki Matsuda (6-2)

Pague is a local for us D.C.-area folks — from Sterling, Va., just north of Dulles Airport. He says Matsuda is the first TUF contestant from Japan. Well, sort of — Matsuda’s intro graphic says he’s fighting out of Boston. In any case, Matsuda has already fought in Bellator, while Pague once faced Din Thomas. Seems like a tough matchup.

Ad break with a disturbing commercial for Orbit gum. Herb Dean gets us started. These guys are quick. Judges might need slo-mo to make sense of it. Matsuda goes with some good high kicks against the taller Pague. Pague misses with a head kick, then flings a spinning back fist. Matsuda seems a little stunned, and Pague takes him down, fishing for subs. He ends up establishing guard, though, without a good hold in place. And Matsuda is able to posture up and land a couple of shots. Probably 10-9 Matsuda.

Bisping: “All of these guys are good.”

Round 2: Three straight head kicks from Matsuda. The Japanese fighter gets a takedown, loses it, regains it. “Hard fight to judge,” says Bisping. White agrees, but Miller thinks Matsuda has the edge. They stand, and Pague lands an elbow, then a big right. Pague is on top of a curled-up Matsuda. Pague stands, and Matsuda pegs him with an upkick. Pague then drops on top of him but can’t pass guard. Miller says it might be one round apiece at this point. The fight clock has disappeared. It returns with 10 seconds left.

Judges weigh in: Fight’s over. I sense controversy. 19-19, 20-18, 20-18 … winner by majority decision is Pague. That is a bad decision, folks.

Paul McVeigh (18-6) vs. Louis Gaudinot (5-1)

McVeigh is from Scotland and says he has been Europe’s top bantamweight for a while. Gaudinot has been clearly visible in a lot of previews, which bodes ill for the Scotsman.

Ad break — Spike making the most of its last season with TUF. And these Jones-Rampage promos make me uncomfortable.

Miller winds up. “Englishman?” he says. “Scottish,” Bisping says. “Same difference,” Miller says.

Cut to Bisping confessional, in which he says Miller looks like “a cross between Josh Koscheck and a toilet brush.”

Awwww … it’s highlights only. Miller says McVeigh has great Muay Thai and had Gaudinot in trouble in the first round. Bisping says it was evenly matched. Then Miller and Bisping agree that it’s probably going one more round. Gaudinot opens up McVeigh with an elbow, and they’re surprised that McVeigh continues. The end is ambiguous — Rosenthal seems to be stopping it, but we hear a horn. In any case, Gaudinot’s in.

Eric Marriott (20-5) vs. Bryan Caraway (15-5)

No records given, no intros. Sherdog says Caraway is 15-5 and reminds us that he fought in the WEC. Caraway tries submissions in the first, then lays through the second. White and company complain that he has no killer instinct. But White says if you can’t get out from under a wrestler, you shouldn’t be in the house. A guy with 25 fights, some in Bellator and M-1, probably knows that, and he’s probably wondering what he did to get matched up against Caraway in the prelims. He actually has a win over one-time TUF finalist Michael Johnson (by heel hook), but he’s out.

Josh Clopton (4-0-1) vs. Dustin Neace (22-17-1)

Records from Sherdog again. Bisping says Josh was landing better shots, but Dustin got on top at the end of each round. And Dustin gets the win to Bisping’s surprise. And White’s. Neace has already fought for Strikeforce. And he somehow has 40 fights at age 24.

Matt Jaggers (20-7) vs. TJ Dillashaw (4-0)

Jaggers has been wrestling all his life. Dillashaw trains with Team Alpha Male, Urijah Faber’s Sacramento camp. Little wonder they both had good takedown defense. Dillashaw lands a couple and loops a punch over Jaggers’ hands. Miller on Jaggers: “He’s really good-looking, but man, he’s getting uglier.” Dillashaw gets him down against the cage, gets him away so he can’t wall-walk and starts pounding. Then he gets mount. But Jaggers sneaks out and stands. He lands a combo. TJ starts to look tired or might be feeling the effect of a body shot, White and company agree. But TJ gets a takedown into side control, then gets into mount again. Jaggers bucks him off but can’t get up. TJ lands some big elbows, then some forearms. The horn sounds, but everyone notices that Jaggers is out. It’s over.

Steven Siler (17-6) vs. Micah Miller (17-4)

Siler is a smiling guy from Utah who is thrilled to be here. having tried out a few times (presumably at lightweight). Miller seems angry to be here, like this is just an annoying stepping stone on his way back to his former WEC/Japanese card glory. “Even though I might not know who my opponent is, he knows who I am. And he knows he’s screwed.”

Hmmm … they said a couple of notables didn’t make it through. We have an ad break now to ponder whether Miller, Cole Miller’s little brother, could be one of them. And we can ponder if Gears of War 3 is the dreariest-looking video game ever.

White says Siler was already downcast when they said Miller would fight him. That’s enough to make White cross him off before the fight starts. But Siler comes out throwing in the highlights. In Round 2, Siler takes him down and nearly gets submitted. Round 3 — Siler wears him down and makes Miller tap to a guillotine. White adjusts his card and says “Oops.”

John Albert (6-1) vs. Orville Smith (12-3)

Records from Sherdog. Highlights only. Albert was apparently winning and looking very good, Bisping says. But Albert takes him down, and White tells Bisping that Albert doesn’t deserve to win. Does this herald a big comeback for Orville, an EliteXC vet? No. Albert makes him tap.

Stephen Bass (10-0) vs. Karsten Lenjoint (7-1)

Records from Sherdog. Highlights only. “A back-and-forth war,” White says. But Lenjoint gasses. Even when Bass shoots for takedown and ends up on his back, he gets the triangle.

Brian Pearman (7-1) vs. Akira Corassani (9-3)

Pearman is excited. Corassani is Swedish, and he says like an painter uses a brush to create art, he entertains people with his style.

Ad break! Blue Mountain State gets a plug.

Mazzagatti starts the fight. They trade, then Pearman pursues Akira around the cage to his own corner. Pearman grabs a leg, takes Akira down and nearly gets a D’arce choke. He lets it go and lands a big elbow instead. Another choke attempt doesn’t take, and Akira stands and lands an elbow while blood starts streaming from the side of his head. Pearman gets him to the cage again and lands a couple of uppercuts and body shots. They stand in the center again, and Akira lands a good spinning back fist. He follows with a good combo. Momentum has swung. He pops Pearman with a bunch of clean head shots, then cleanly knocks him out.

Akira celebrates by spraying Miller with water, which Bisping loves.

Bisping says the guys all looked liked UFC fighters. White tells the whole group he’s “overly” impressed — some of the best fights we’ve had on The Ultimate Fighter. Dodson gets a lot of screen time.

Preview of the season: Bisping’s mad, someone in the house is mad, a couple of donkeys appear in the training center, Tito makes a guest apperance, someone goes streaking, a mariachi band plays, and someone eats a bug. Can’t wait.